Wiener of the Week

What's in the water in Columbia, SC? First the Governor, and now this.

Newly-released video from a Columbia police cruiser's dashboard camera shows a former Republican legislator and state attorney being stopped by police after he was caught in a cemetery with a teenage strip club employee on his lunch break this week.

The video shows Roland Corning, 66, being stopped Monday afternoon by five officers under the overpass where I-126 becomes Elmwood Avenue. Corning was pulled over after an officer spotted him in an area police say is known for sex and drug use.

Corning had an 18-year-old employee of the Platinum Plus Gentleman's Club in his vehicle at the time. After speaking to officers for a few minutes, Corning steps out of the car and allows officers to search his SUV. Officers found sex toys and a bottle containing Viagra that Corning says were there "just in case."

"Hey, I've got an idea. I'll pick up a stripper, some 'toys', and some 'V'. Then I'll head over to the cemetery for some fun and games."

Boys and girls, this is what happens when the little head does the thinking.

Roland Corning, you're the Wiener of the Week.

What goes around, comes around

Next to chowing down on a dead horse, there's nothing a Vulture loves more than schadenfreude. Understand, I don't enjoy the suffering of good people. No, my schadenfreude emanates from just-desserts served piping hot to stone-cold jerks who desperately need it.

David Letterman desperately needed it.

You're probably thinking, "Vulture! This is old news! Everyone knows about Mr. Letterman and his peccadilloes by now!" Of course that would be true. But everyone might not know about this.

A former writer for David Letterman said she quit his NBC talk show in part because of alleged sexual favoritism and a hostile work environment.

Nell Scovell, writing for Vanity Fair online Tuesday, said she had no intention of filing a lawsuit and wasn't seeking revenge.

"I wanted to shine a light on gender inequality in that particular workplace," Scovell, who went on to a successful Hollywood career, said in a telephone interview.

This. Is. Awesome!

Think about it. Mr. I'm-so-much-hipper-than-everyone-else I'm-so-much-better-than-everyone-else I-support-every-liberal-cause-known-to-mankind smarmy greaseball smirking Letterman (his actual name: no wonder he goes by David) didn't just get caught with his pants down. No, Mr. Superiority Complex got caught breaking one of the cardinal rules of Liberaldom: thou shalt not create a hostile work environment!

Think back with me to the 1980's when the wave of "hostile workplace" lawsuits hit the fan. All you had to do was tell a dirty joke or tell a coworker that she looked nice and you were a target. Smug self-important asshats like Letterman were all over that stuff, pretentiously looking down their noses in condescension at the poor bastards whose lives were ruined as a result of those lawsuits.

And now Mr. Ultra-Liberal is shown for the phony he really is. He never believed in that crap! He just mouthed the words in accordance with the Liberal tradition of groupspeak. Then he went out and tried to shag as many of his own subordinates as he possibly could in the ensuing years.
Hypocrite!

Let's hope that there's no end to Mr. Letterman's suffering for the foreseeable future. It's put me in such a great mood!

A shout out to yodaddy on his birthday

I just received a note from a fellow by the name of Dirt. It reads:

yodaddy,

I'd like to wish you a Happy Birthday. It's a privilege to send birthday wishes to the one person on Earth older than I.

--Dirt

Happy Birthday, yodaddy! You're living proof that only the good die young. *smile*

(Children like me are why tigers eat their young)

Have a great birthday and plan on having several more, please!

They're just not that smart

One of the traits of committed leftists is a sneering sense of their own superiority. They are so convinced that they and their ilk are the smartest people in the room - always! The atheists among them like to refer to themselves as "Brights", an obvious slam at believers, whom they would have you believe are a bunch of knuckle-draggers who aren't smart enough to have abandoned a belief in an "invisible friend in the sky".

Yet twice in the past two weeks, news anchors from Left-leaning Cable News ratings disaster CNN placed dead last at Celebrity Jeopardy. You can't make this stuff up.

CNN should consider banning its anchors from appearing on "Celebrity Jeopardy" after the humiliating defeats of Wolf Blitzer and Soledad O'Brien. Wolf was blitzed last month, coming in last with minus-$4,600, behind comic Andy Richter, a past winner who racked up $68,000 for charity. "Desperate Housewives" star Dana Delany came in second. This month, it was O'Brien's turn against NBA legend Kareem Abdul Jabbar and Michael McKean, of "Spinal Tap," "Laverne & Shirley" and "Saturday Night Live." McKean, a previous winner, ended with $24,800, followed by Abdul Jabbar with $8,800 and O'Brien with $6,200. A CNN insider defended the journalists: "They are reporters, not trivia experts. And the buzzer is complicated. It's not activated until Alex [Trebek] finishes the last syllable of the question. If you hit the button too soon, nothing happens."

Oooh...I wouldn't have gone there. "The buzzer is complicated"? Are you kidding? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out after about the first, maybe second time that you're early that you need to be more patient and time your button push better. And many of the questions on Jeopardy are NOT trivia; questions frequently address historical issues that I would prefer that the folks who read my news were aware of.

Okay, Vulture! We know what this is about -- you rock at Jeopardy. You know the answers to about 85% of the questions. You're just trying to show off -- to make yourself look superior to CNN anchors.

Not at all.

You see, according to the Caput a Palos, I'm not that bright. So...if I'm a bit on the dim side and can answer 85% of REGULAR Jeopardy questions (not the obviously dumbed-down questions they save up for the celebrities), you'd think that smug assclown Wolf Blitzer might at least, I don't know, finish in the black.

The truth is that Left-leaning people are little more than herd animals, following behind the closest thing to an Alpha dog that the Left is able to produce. They all say the same things. Worse, they all THINK the same things. And their knowledge of things outside of their insular little world is wanting.

Remember that the next time Mr. Blitzer anxiously reports that Sarah Palin has been identified as being "not too bright". And he will. One true thing you can always count on from the Left -- they have absolutely NO sense of irony.

Week 7 - the almost comeback

As Maxwell Smart would say, "Missed it by that much!" What else can you say when you come from three touchdowns behind, only to lose by 3 lousy points? Such was Sunday's 49ers loss to the Texans yesterday, by a 24-21 score.

It was certainly a tale of two halfs. The first half was all Texans. The Texans scored all three of their touchdowns in the first half. One was set up on a muffed punt by the usually sure-handed Arnaz Battle. The other scores were just a case of the Niners being outmatched by a seemingly superior team.

Shaun Hill struggled for the second consecutive week; yes, the offensive line is, well, offensive, but he seemed to make things worse by panicking when the heat was on.

Mike Singletary, true to his nature, decided to shake things up for the second half. Alex Smith trotted on the field for the Niners first possession, and all momentum swung from the Texans to the 49ers from that point forward. Smith was AMAZING! He looked the part of an NFL quarterback for the first time in his 5 year career. He had that same look that Joe Montana used to get when he was about to do something miraculous. And he brought it - big time. 15-22, 206 yards, and 3 touchdowns, all to Vernon Davis. His one pick was a desperation 4th down throw with time winding down.

The offensive heroes were Smith, Davis, and *ahem* Michael Crabtree, who appears to be, one game into his NFL career, the real deal. I may yet end up eating the words I wrote on draft day regarding the drafting of a wide receiver with the number one pick. For now, Crabtree remains "on my list".

The defensive heroes were Patrick Willis (same as every week) and Justin Smith, who had a MONSTER game. Playing as a 3-4 defensive end (which is pretty much like playing as a tackle), Smith had 10 tackles (that's a LINEBACKER number, folks!), 2 for a loss.

Dre Bly and that overpaid turd Nate Clemons remain "on my list"; Clemons for tackling like a girl on the second Texans touchdown, and Bly on general principle.

One question remains to be answered this week as the team prepares to get sacrificed to the Colts (this just in: the Colts are GOOD). The question is: who's the quarterback? Shaun Hill is my boy, but let's face it, his last two games have been putrid. And Alex Smith was positively amazing yesterday. I've never been one of the Smith naysayers; I thought back in '07 that he had a chance to be a decent quarterback. We'll see.

In the mean time, the Cardinals have defied my preseason prediction that they would return to playing losing football in the Cardinal tradition. The Niners slipped to second place in the Division with yesterday's loss and the Cardinal victory over the suddenly vulnerable Giants.

I still think the 49ers can go 9-7 and push the Cardinals for the Division. But it got a whole lot harder yesterday. A WHOLE lot harder.

---

Update:

It's official - Coach Singletary named Alex Smith as starter for Sunday's game at Indy.

Wiener of the Week

Last week the WotW took a bye week, just like my 49ers. So this week one would presume that WotW will really take on something important. After all, a bye week is supposed to leave one refreshed and ready to take on the world, no?

Hopefully this item won't disappoint.

A bill making the rounds on Capitol Hill marries two feel-good propositions -- tax cuts and pet ownership -- to generate a novel idea: A tax break of up to $3,500 per person for pet care expenses.
[...]
The measure even has a snappy acronym: the HAPPY Act, as in Humanity and Pets Partnered Through the Years.

Are. You. Effing. Kidding. Me?

For those of you unfamiliar with the political term "pandering", this is Exhibit A. Seriously? A pet care deduction? We're running trillion dollar deficits, our health care system is under attack, and you want to introduce a tax break for Fido?

Rep. Thaddeus McCotter-R(INO)-MI, you're the Wiener of the Week.