Saturday, October 31, 2009

Wiener of the Week

What's in the water in Columbia, SC? First the Governor, and now this.

Newly-released video from a Columbia police cruiser's dashboard camera shows a former Republican legislator and state attorney being stopped by police after he was caught in a cemetery with a teenage strip club employee on his lunch break this week.

The video shows Roland Corning, 66, being stopped Monday afternoon by five officers under the overpass where I-126 becomes Elmwood Avenue. Corning was pulled over after an officer spotted him in an area police say is known for sex and drug use.

Corning had an 18-year-old employee of the Platinum Plus Gentleman's Club in his vehicle at the time. After speaking to officers for a few minutes, Corning steps out of the car and allows officers to search his SUV. Officers found sex toys and a bottle containing Viagra that Corning says were there "just in case."
"Hey, I've got an idea. I'll pick up a stripper, some 'toys', and some 'V'. Then I'll head over to the cemetery for some fun and games."

Boys and girls, this is what happens when the little head does the thinking.

Roland Corning, you're the Wiener of the Week.


Friday, October 30, 2009

What goes around, comes around

Next to chowing down on a dead horse, there's nothing a Vulture loves more than schadenfreude. Understand, I don't enjoy the suffering of good people. No, my schadenfreude emanates from just-desserts served piping hot to stone-cold jerks who desperately need it.

David Letterman desperately needed it.

You're probably thinking, "Vulture! This is old news! Everyone knows about Mr. Letterman and his peccadilloes by now!" Of course that would be true. But everyone might not know about this.

A former writer for David Letterman said she quit his NBC talk show in part because of alleged sexual favoritism and a hostile work environment.

Nell Scovell, writing for Vanity Fair online Tuesday, said she had no intention of filing a lawsuit and wasn't seeking revenge.

"I wanted to shine a light on gender inequality in that particular workplace," Scovell, who went on to a successful Hollywood career, said in a telephone interview.

This. Is. Awesome!

Think about it. Mr. I'm-so-much-hipper-than-everyone-else I'm-so-much-better-than-everyone-else I-support-every-liberal-cause-known-to-mankind smarmy greaseball smirking Letterman (his actual name: no wonder he goes by David) didn't just get caught with his pants down. No, Mr. Superiority Complex got caught breaking one of the cardinal rules of Liberaldom: thou shalt not create a hostile work environment!

Think back with me to the 1980's when the wave of "hostile workplace" lawsuits hit the fan. All you had to do was tell a dirty joke or tell a coworker that she looked nice and you were a target. Smug self-important asshats like Letterman were all over that stuff, pretentiously looking down their noses in condescension at the poor bastards whose lives were ruined as a result of those lawsuits.

And now Mr. Ultra-Liberal is shown for the phony he really is. He never believed in that crap! He just mouthed the words in accordance with the Liberal tradition of groupspeak. Then he went out and tried to shag as many of his own subordinates as he possibly could in the ensuing years.

Let's hope that there's no end to Mr. Letterman's suffering for the foreseeable future. It's put me in such a great mood!


Wednesday, October 28, 2009

A shout out to yodaddy on his birthday

I just received a note from a fellow by the name of Dirt. It reads:


I'd like to wish you a Happy Birthday. It's a privilege to send birthday wishes to the one person on Earth older than I.

Happy Birthday, yodaddy! You're living proof that only the good die young. *smile*

(Children like me are why tigers eat their young)

Have a great birthday and plan on having several more, please!


They're just not that smart

One of the traits of committed leftists is a sneering sense of their own superiority. They are so convinced that they and their ilk are the smartest people in the room - always! The atheists among them like to refer to themselves as "Brights", an obvious slam at believers, whom they would have you believe are a bunch of knuckle-draggers who aren't smart enough to have abandoned a belief in an "invisible friend in the sky".

Yet twice in the past two weeks, news anchors from Left-leaning Cable News ratings disaster CNN placed dead last at Celebrity Jeopardy. You can't make this stuff up.

CNN should consider banning its anchors from appearing on "Celebrity Jeopardy" after the humiliating defeats of Wolf Blitzer and Soledad O'Brien. Wolf was blitzed last month, coming in last with minus-$4,600, behind comic Andy Richter, a past winner who racked up $68,000 for charity. "Desperate Housewives" star Dana Delany came in second. This month, it was O'Brien's turn against NBA legend Kareem Abdul Jabbar and Michael McKean, of "Spinal Tap," "Laverne & Shirley" and "Saturday Night Live." McKean, a previous winner, ended with $24,800, followed by Abdul Jabbar with $8,800 and O'Brien with $6,200. A CNN insider defended the journalists: "They are reporters, not trivia experts. And the buzzer is complicated. It's not activated until Alex [Trebek] finishes the last syllable of the question. If you hit the button too soon, nothing happens."
Oooh...I wouldn't have gone there. "The buzzer is complicated"? Are you kidding? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out after about the first, maybe second time that you're early that you need to be more patient and time your button push better. And many of the questions on Jeopardy are NOT trivia; questions frequently address historical issues that I would prefer that the folks who read my news were aware of.

Okay, Vulture! We know what this is about -- you rock at Jeopardy. You know the answers to about 85% of the questions. You're just trying to show off -- to make yourself look superior to CNN anchors.

Not at all.

You see, according to the Caput a Palos, I'm not that bright. So...if I'm a bit on the dim side and can answer 85% of REGULAR Jeopardy questions (not the obviously dumbed-down questions they save up for the celebrities), you'd think that smug assclown Wolf Blitzer might at least, I don't know, finish in the black.

The truth is that Left-leaning people are little more than herd animals, following behind the closest thing to an Alpha dog that the Left is able to produce. They all say the same things. Worse, they all THINK the same things. And their knowledge of things outside of their insular little world is wanting.

Remember that the next time Mr. Blitzer anxiously reports that Sarah Palin has been identified as being "not too bright". And he will. One true thing you can always count on from the Left -- they have absolutely NO sense of irony.


Monday, October 26, 2009

Week 7 - the almost comeback

As Maxwell Smart would say, "Missed it by that much!" What else can you say when you come from three touchdowns behind, only to lose by 3 lousy points? Such was Sunday's 49ers loss to the Texans yesterday, by a 24-21 score.

It was certainly a tale of two halfs. The first half was all Texans. The Texans scored all three of their touchdowns in the first half. One was set up on a muffed punt by the usually sure-handed Arnaz Battle. The other scores were just a case of the Niners being outmatched by a seemingly superior team.

Shaun Hill struggled for the second consecutive week; yes, the offensive line is, well, offensive, but he seemed to make things worse by panicking when the heat was on.

Mike Singletary, true to his nature, decided to shake things up for the second half. Alex Smith trotted on the field for the Niners first possession, and all momentum swung from the Texans to the 49ers from that point forward. Smith was AMAZING! He looked the part of an NFL quarterback for the first time in his 5 year career. He had that same look that Joe Montana used to get when he was about to do something miraculous. And he brought it - big time. 15-22, 206 yards, and 3 touchdowns, all to Vernon Davis. His one pick was a desperation 4th down throw with time winding down.

The offensive heroes were Smith, Davis, and *ahem* Michael Crabtree, who appears to be, one game into his NFL career, the real deal. I may yet end up eating the words I wrote on draft day regarding the drafting of a wide receiver with the number one pick. For now, Crabtree remains "on my list".

The defensive heroes were Patrick Willis (same as every week) and Justin Smith, who had a MONSTER game. Playing as a 3-4 defensive end (which is pretty much like playing as a tackle), Smith had 10 tackles (that's a LINEBACKER number, folks!), 2 for a loss.

Dre Bly and that overpaid turd Nate Clemons remain "on my list"; Clemons for tackling like a girl on the second Texans touchdown, and Bly on general principle.

One question remains to be answered this week as the team prepares to get sacrificed to the Colts (this just in: the Colts are GOOD). The question is: who's the quarterback? Shaun Hill is my boy, but let's face it, his last two games have been putrid. And Alex Smith was positively amazing yesterday. I've never been one of the Smith naysayers; I thought back in '07 that he had a chance to be a decent quarterback. We'll see.

In the mean time, the Cardinals have defied my preseason prediction that they would return to playing losing football in the Cardinal tradition. The Niners slipped to second place in the Division with yesterday's loss and the Cardinal victory over the suddenly vulnerable Giants.

I still think the 49ers can go 9-7 and push the Cardinals for the Division. But it got a whole lot harder yesterday. A WHOLE lot harder.


It's official - Coach Singletary named Alex Smith as starter for Sunday's game at Indy.


Sunday, October 25, 2009

Wiener of the Week

Last week the WotW took a bye week, just like my 49ers. So this week one would presume that WotW will really take on something important. After all, a bye week is supposed to leave one refreshed and ready to take on the world, no?

Hopefully this item won't disappoint.

A bill making the rounds on Capitol Hill marries two feel-good propositions -- tax cuts and pet ownership -- to generate a novel idea: A tax break of up to $3,500 per person for pet care expenses.
The measure even has a snappy acronym: the HAPPY Act, as in Humanity and Pets Partnered Through the Years.
Are. You. Effing. Kidding. Me?

For those of you unfamiliar with the political term "pandering", this is Exhibit A. Seriously? A pet care deduction? We're running trillion dollar deficits, our health care system is under attack, and you want to introduce a tax break for Fido?

Rep. Thaddeus McCotter-R(INO)-MI, you're the Wiener of the Week.


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Swine flu scare tactics

I'm old, so I remember the 1976 swine flu "pandemic". What pandemic, you ask? Exactly.

In the Fall of 1976, as a college freshman, I remember all the buzz around campus about the pandemic of swine flu and how "important" it was for all of us to get immunized. So, like a good little sheeple, I got in line and got my shot at the health center.

Later it was revealed that the "pandemic" consisted 0f 200 cases of swine flu in the US that resulted in one (yes, you read that correctly - ONE) fatality. Contrast that statistic with 500 cases of Guillain-Barre Syndrome (GBS) caused by the vaccine, resulting in 25 fatalities. In other words, you were 2.5 time more likely to become seriously ill and 25 times more likely to die from the vaccine than you were from the flu.

But Vulture! This year's flu is MUCH more dangerous than the 1976 flu! And the vaccine is MUCH safer. Really?

60 minutes tried selling that angle on Sunday. First they downplayed H1N1, then they sold it hard.

It turns out, in many respects, that the 2009 H1N1 virus is no worse than the everyday flu.

While 99 percent of the people who get it suffer just a few miserable days at home, it is also true that for something less than one percent, H1N1 can be fatal.
The reporter then spent several minutes highlighting the case of ONE individual - a 15-year-old from Arkansas - who is currently hospitalized in critical condition as a result of the H1N1 virus. Yawn.

Don't get me wrong - I feel badly for the kid and pray for his recovery - but ONE example. Seriously?

Then they had the audacity to compare 2009 H1N1 with the deadly flu of 1918!
Palese compared the new virus to viruses that he keeps frozen from decades ago. And he has found 2009 H1N1 is a relative of the 1918 virus that killed 50 million people worldwide.
At least they had the decency to add this.
The 1918 flu was in a class by itself; the 2009 version isn't nearly as lethal.
Yeah. No kidding.

Then we got a lot of "important" people with titles spewing fear.
Rear Admiral Anne Schuchat is the CDC's chief health officer in the war on H1N1. When 60 Minutes first met her two weeks ago, she showed us the virus was widespread in 27 states. When we saw her again last Thursday, things had changed.

"We think the virus is virtually everywhere in the country. Quite a lot of illness, hospitalizations, and deaths," she explained.
Deaths? While it's true that over 600 people have died in the US, that's 600 people out of a population of about 350 million. And there have been 25 reported deaths from the H1N1 vaccine. As if that weren't enough, GBS is STILL cropping up as a side effect of the new, "safe" vaccine!

Not convinced? How about this: they're still using Thimerosal as a preservative for this vaccine. Thimerosal is a mercury-based additive thought by many to be a leading cause of Autism.

So, if you want to be a sheeple, by all means rush out and get vaccinated. Just don't look for me in line. To paraphrase The Who, I won't get fooled again.


Monday, October 19, 2009

5k Fail

Murphy's Law is an SOB. Saturday I got handed my tuckus by ole' Murphy. Big time.

I went into Saturday apprehensive but confident. I had three goals in mind: a time of 26 minutes, finishing in the top 1/3 overall, and finishing in the top 10 for over-50 runners.

Goals suck.

I failed magnificently on all three counts. Why? I wasn't prepared for the kind of weather we encountered on Saturday. This wasn't mid-October weather. This was early-December weather. It was 41 degrees and raining. I got about a quarter mile into the race and realized that I was having an exercise-triggered asthma attack, something I almost never experience, but something that, had I been thinking, I would have planned for, since cold damp air is a major factor in exercise-triggered asthma. Because I was operating with about 1/2 capacity lungs, I never had a prayer. I actually had to stop and WALK about 6 or 7 times during the course of the race (oh the humiliation!).

I ended up with a time of 32:17 -- 3 minutes slower than last year. I finished approximately 75th out of 181 (nice turnout! -- there were only about 75 runners total last year). And it was a fast field, too -- the winning time was 16:43!

Okay, so I learned some important things for next year.

  1. Running outside is WAAAAY harder than running on a treadmill, no matter how hard you think you're pushing yourself. I need to have at least 2-3 outdoor runs prior to the race.
  2. Be prepared! Have an inhaler handy, especially in cold weather.
  3. Don't set grandiose goals on your very public blog. ;)
See Vulture. See Vulture blush. See Vulture embarrassed like a mo-fo.

One last thing, a shout out to Vulture's mother, a breast cancer survivor. Your little boy was thinking about you while on the course (that is, when he wasn't thinking about how much it sucks to have 1/2 lung capacity). Stay well.


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Think Pink! Race for the Cure

Once again I will be running in the Race for the Cure, a 5k run scheduled for this Saturday. This year the race is sponsored by the Hurwitz Breast Cancer Fund. If you are interested in making a donation, click here.

Last year I almost missed the race due to a hip injury just weeks before. This year the opposite is true; I think I've overtrained. I've had a serious case of "heavy legs" the past two weeks. Hopefully, the break between last night's run and Saturday will be just the tonic for that.

Okay, enough about me. Let's talk breast cancer, shall we? Or, for that matter, cancer in general. Anything any of us can do to push for a cure for cancer, prior to the One-World Socialist Utopia Dystopia of "free" government health care making medical advancements a pipe dream, is of the utmost urgency.

Okay, here's the "over/under".

  • Target time: 26 minutes
  • Target finish (all): top 1/3
  • Target finish (over 50): top 10
Wish me luck!

BTW, I just had a frightening visual image of a vulture trying to run. It's not a pretty sight...


Monday, October 12, 2009

Week 5 - queue Ned Beatty

Mountain Man: I'm gonna make you squeal like a pig. Weeeeeeee!
Bobby: Weee!
Mountain Man: Weeeeeeee!
Bobby: Weee!
Substitute "Falcons" for "Mountain Man" and "49ers" for "Bobby", and you get a full, complete understanding of what happened yesterday afternoon at Candlestink Park.

Oh. My. God.

After a game like that, there are just two related questions to ask: Are the Falcons that good? Or are the 49ers that bad?

Shaun Hill played his worst game as a 49er. He couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. Nate Clemons is back in my doghouse after making Roddy White look like the second coming of Jerry Rice. Dre Bly is in my doghouse for this little sequence:
  • Bly intercepts Matt Ryan pass at about the SF 10 yard line.
  • Bly heads down the sideline - 20, 25, 30, 35...
  • At about the 30 or 35 yard line he starts showboating like Deion Sanders.
  • At about the 40 yard line he is tackled and stripped of the ball by Ryan - a quarterback.
  • Atlanta recovers the ball.
  • Did I mention the Niners were behind 35-10 at the time?
He may never leave my dog house; in a post-game interview, Bly said this:
"Dre's going to be Dre'," Bly said. "When I make plays, and I've made a lot, I express myself."
Yeah. He actually said that. Coach Singletary needs to tear this guy a new one.

Speaking of Coach S, this wasn't his finest game, either. The team blew through its first half timeouts by early in the 2nd quarter, so they weren't able to challenge the Delanie Walker krumble (kick-off fumble) that lead to an Atlanta touchdown to make it 28-10. While we're on the subject of the krumble, WTF? WHY was a tight end returning the kickoff in the first place?

Two 49ers played well. Patrick Willis (of course) with 12 tackles was the lone bright spot on defense. And Josh Morgan had a very good game, with 4 catches for 78 yards, including a 61-yard catch-and-run that took the Niners down to the 3 yard line and led to their only touchdown of the day.

Okay, the Niners are 3-2. When I predicted before the season started that the Niners would go 9-7 and win the division, I had them at 2-3 at this point. So...they're one game better than I thought they would be. Still, there are plenty of tough games left on the schedule. Indianapolis. Chicago. Green Bay. Arizona. Philadelphia. And don't forget teams capable of upsetting the Niners: Houston, Tennessee, Jacksonville, and Seattle. If the Niners play the way they did the first 4 games, 9-7 is still possible and will, in all likelihood, win the division. If they play like yesterday.....welcome to yet ANOTHER losing season - our 7th straight.



Sunday, October 11, 2009

Wiener of the Week

Last week I posted a story titled "Only in Columbia". It detailed the "plight" of a Left-Liberal woman subjected to the "horror" of Fox News Network. I guess Kensington didn't want to be give Columbia the title of Maryland's moonbat haven without a fight. For those of you not familiar with Kensington, it's a hoity-toity suburb of Washington, DC. It's not exactly hurting for money. Which makes this story even more annoying.

Public parks are usually the places where children go to have fun. But the town of Kensington just passed a new rule that bans kids over five years old from playgrounds during the daytime.

"It's like a sad children's story," said Joe McPherson, headmaster of the Brookewood School.

But it's no fable. The girls at Kensington's Brookewood School are banned from using a public park right across the street for recess.


The town council unanimously passed a resolution this week saying only caretakers with children five years old and younger can be in Reinhardt Park from 9 a.m. until 4 p.m. Monday through Friday.

Since that resolution passed, Brookewood students have gone elsewhere for recess.


The town manager says students using the park for recess created maintenance issues and damage. The town council asked the school to pay $4,000 a year to help with upkeep but never heard back.

"Do a clean through trash pickup, lay mulch around the swings -- we could do that," said McPherson. "But pay $4,000? We just don't have it. We just don't have it in our budget."

Brookewood's headmaster tells ABC 7 News it's a public park for all to use but Kensington's mayor disagrees. By phone he said the park is for taxpaying citizens -- not abuse by a private non-profit school.
Okay, if you're from Kensington, I'll try to explain the asshattery of your town's actions as slowly as I can.
  • The park is a PUBLIC park.
  • The children attending the school have parents who, presumably, live in Kensington.
  • Those parents pay property taxes to Kensington.
  • Much of the money from those property taxes goes towards the failing public schools in Kensington.
  • The rest goes towards....wait for it...things like park maintenance.
Epic fail, Kensington. Epic.

Congratulations, Kensington! You're the Wiener of the Week.


Wiener of the Month - September

In what must qualify as a stunning surprise to someone [/sarcasm], automobile sales collapsed in the month following Cash-for-Clunkers.

General Motors sold some 156,673 vehicles in September, a slump of 45% with retail sales off 46% and fleet sales dropping 43%. Car sales were down 43% and total truck sales -- light and heavy -- plummeted 47%.
40 percent plus declines in sales? Gee, who would have ever thought that would happen when you went from $10,000 off the sticker price to full sticker price? Only the buffoons in Congress, that's who.

Congratulations, Congress! You're the Wiener of the Month for September!


Friday, October 9, 2009

Nobel Peace Prize? For WHAT exactly?

If there was ever any doubt (hint: there wasn't) that the Nobel prize committee is motivated not by events on the ground but rather by ideology, this should be proof enough.

Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize on Friday in a stunning decision that honored the first-year U.S. president more for promise than achievement and drew both praise and skepticism around the world.

The bestowal of one of the world's top accolades on a president less than nine months in office, who has yet to score a major foreign policy success, was greeted with gasps of astonishment from journalists at the announcement in Oslo.
Here's another clue for you. When even the media is amazed at the audaciousness of the award, you've overstepped badly.

At least SOMEONE out there thinks it's all a bit much.
[C]ritics called the Nobel's committee's decision premature, given that Obama so far has made little tangible headway as he grapples with challenges ranging from the war in Afghanistan and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict to nuclear standoffs with Iran and North Korea.
Amen to that!

This is SOOOOOOO typical of the Left-Liberal mindset. It's the INTENTIONS that count, NOT the results.

Welcome to insanity.


Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Michael Crabtree signs - hey, how 'bout that?

If you're expecting me to be all excited - jumping for joy - at the news that Michael Crabtree has finally signed, you're going to be very disappointed. Considering that I was 100% against drafting him in the first place, you can't exactly categorize his signing as a "win" for either side.

You know what gripes me? This arrogant turd signed today for essentially the same money he was offered back in August. Now he expects.......what? To be greeted by his teammates and 49ers fans as some sort of savior? Eff that!

The Niners have been on a roll up to this point, coming within 2 seconds of posting a perfect 4-0 record for the season to date. If this turd comes in and effs that up, I'll never forgive him. NEVER!!!

Then again, if he turns out to be as good as his boosters say he is.......maybe I'll accept him into the 49ers family. But ONLY if he proves himself! I'm very patient with most young players; with him, I'll boo his ass for every misstep he makes on the field. Nobody disrespects my team and gets off scot-free. Nobody.


Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The Echo Chamber Effect

One of the reasons I have concern for the future of our world is a little something known as the echo chamber effect. Briefly, this is the tendency of people to gravitate towards sources of information that will reinforce their own beliefs regarding events or topics of interest to them.

The echo chamber effect is hardly a recent phenomenon. In what perhaps may be an apocryphal quote, Pauline Kael is supposed to have said regarding the landslide victory of Richard Nixon over George McGovern in 1972, "I can't believe Nixon won. I don't know anybody who voted for him".

New media gets accused of fomenting echo chambers, but old media has them as well. Fox News is a comfortable echo chamber for people with Neocon leanings. MSNBC is a comfortable echo chamber for those who feel that King George the Dim is the cause of all the world's problems, as well as for those who think that Big Dick Cheney is the cause of said problems.

But new media - particularly blather radio and blogs - are especially susceptible to the echo chamber effect.

I started to ruminate on this subject late last week because of my recent experiences over at Caput Penitus Culus. Talk about your echo chamber!

There are basically three types of people at that site, besides the loathsome reptile who hosts it: female authoritarians who want to force their worldview on others; bigots; and the willfully stupid (yes Stamp, that would be you). Each of these archetypes enters the blog with a worldview they desperately want to reinforce. Each comes away with exactly what they wished for - EXCEPT when some "troll" like me comes along questioning certain aspects of their beliefs.

Troll. It's an interesting concept. The textbook definition of a troll is someone who shows up uninvited at your site to argue for the sake of arguing, a disruptor, an agitator. What a troll is in practice is someone who shows up at an echo chamber with a different viewpoint than that of the denizens of the site. You can tell a lot about a site and its proprietor by the tolerance shown to alternative viewpoints; at Caput Penitus Culus, FLDS Texas, and other like sites, you're likely to have your comments deleted and your access to enter comments blocked.

Partly because of my libertarian political leanings, but also because I've seen it demonstrated masterfully at Vox Popoli during the 7+ years I've been reading that blog, I think I've managed to a large extent to avoid hosting yet another echo chamber. But (and this is an important concept to grok) I can't be the judge of that; only those who read this blog and other blogs with differing viewpoints can accurately say whether I've been successful on that count or not.

Okay, what's the point, Vulture? The point is this: our nation used to have a tradition of tolerance for opposing viewpoints. Now, with the echo chamber effect, we're not inclined to hear, let alone respect, differing viewpoints. This is unhealthy intellectually, and it's unhealthy for the continuing health of a Constitutional republic.

But what do I know? According to the Caput a Palos, I'm not too bright. Then again, considering the source, I might just be an effin genius...


Monday, October 5, 2009

Week 4 - Crown them?

This is an actual exchange between the Vulture and a superintelligence over at Vox Popoli:

Vulture: San Francisco vs. Rams - they are who we thought they were. SF is 3-1 in the pitiful West...playoffs here we come!

VD: If you want to crown them, then go ahead and crown their asses!
For those of you unfamiliar with the Dennis Green reference, here is the link to his epic meltdown. It's a classic. An absolute classic.

But the question bears asking: is it time to crown the 49ers NFC West champions? Look at the opposition. The Cardinals are struggling, the Seahawks are old and injured, and the Rams...?

Ah, yes, the Lambs. They could do little right yesterday, and what little they did right was usually wiped out by stupid penalties. The final score, 35-0, doesn't even BEGIN to reflect the beatdown the Niners laid on the woeful Lambs. Even with the Niners only ahead by 7 late in the 3rd quarter, I wasn't the slightest bit worried. The Rams are a horrible, horrible team. Horrible on a Biblical scale. Only Cecil B. DeMille was capable of capturing an epic FUBAR such as the Rams are right now.

Defense and special teams played an inspired game for the Niners. Patrick Willis and company were MONSTER. There were two touchdowns scored by the defense and one scored by special teams. But the offense? Dude, the offense is S-T-R-U-G-G-L-I-N-G. 90% of the offensive problems can be traced to a single source: offensive line play. Our line is just plain not getting it done. They can't run block. They can't pass block. If we hadn't blown our first round draft pick on that puto Michael Crabtree and had drafted Michael Oher instead, we might not be in this pickle.

So, how long can our defense carry us? I'm not sure. No defense is so strong that it can completely negate a poor offense (one exception: the 2000 Ravens). But I'm confident that Coach Singletary will come up with some way to overcome our weakness and get the team to where it needs to be.

The season is at the 25% completed mark. The Niners are 3-1, 3-0 in division. Unless the Cardinals can right the ship and get on a roll, or the Niners experience an epic collapse, the Niners winning the West is pretty much a foregone conclusion. How the team does in the playoffs beyond that remains to be seen.

Still, there's a level of excitement in 49er-land that I haven't felt in 7 long years.


Sunday, October 4, 2009

Wiener of the Week

This WotW writes itself, with a little help from the Wall Street Journal.

The selection of Rio de Janeiro over Chicago for the 2016 Olympics was an embarrassment for President Barack Obama, whose appearance before the International Olympic Committee was the first by a U.S. president.

Mr. Obama revved up the White House machinery to aid Chicago's Olympic bid, sending First Lady Michelle Obama and adviser Valerie Jarrett to Denmark leading a delegation that included nearly a half-dozen top administration officials.The White House announced only last week that he would join as well. The widespread perception was that he wouldn't have decided to go unless Chicago was virtually assured of a win.

But the city was cut in the first of three rounds of voting.
And the Vulture basks in the schadenfreude.

Sorry, Duce. You can't just show up at the last minute and expect the power of your presence to overwhelm the selection committee.

Il Duce - you're the Wiener of the Week.


Friday, October 2, 2009

A great idea killed - goodbye, Saturn!

It was with great sadness that "I read the news today (oh, boy!)" that Penske has dropped out of trying to acquire Saturn from General Motors. That means that Saturn is dead - flat-lined, finito, taking the dirt nap, toes up, gone to that great car museum in the sky, etc, etc.

Okay, I'm trying to be flip because, in truth, this news really disappoints me. A lot.

As I wrote some months ago, Saturn has a special place in my heart. My family has owned 5 Saturns from 1992 to the present. I was in a serious accident in a Saturn and walked away from it unharmed. I loved my Saturns.

Saturn was the one good thing GM did since....hmm....since....oh, I know! Since the introduction of the Camaro. Saturn was a brilliant idea. Great quality, high mileage, maximum safety, no-haggle purchasing. Naturally, GM being GM, they FUBARed it. Eff you, GM!

Good bye, Saturn. It was awesome while it lasted.


Thursday, October 1, 2009

Apple! Enough already!

Man, I hate the "Mac vs. PC" commercials. I simply loathed them in silence right up until the one featuring Patrick Warburton aired. (Watch the ad here).

In it, a wholesome looking girl-next-door type is asking the annoying PC and Mac guys whether she should get a Mac or a PC. The PC guy brings on Mr. Warburton, who portrays the "top of the line PC". The young innocent wants a big screen and lots of speed, and a computer "without thousands of viruses and tons of headaches". Replying, he says, "Lady, any PC you get is going to have those problems".

By this point I'm starting to get irritated. He makes it worse. Once she has decided on the Mac (because the clear implication is that Macs DON'T have viruses or headaches), he says, "When you're ready to compromise, call me".

The utter arrogance of those Apple SOBs!!! Let's deconstruct a tad, shall we?

First, the question of why there are so many more viruses on PCs than on Macs. There's a very, very good reason for that: no self-respecting computer programmer, let alone hacker, would install the Mac-OS on their computer. Serious programmers either use Vista (if they're Windows developers like me) or Linux. Oh, and I said MORE viruses on PC than on Mac - news flash: Macs get viruses! If they didn't, why are there so many antivirus products available for the Mac OS? FYI, identifies 24 known viruses for the Mac. Those are just the viruses targeting the operating system; Macs are every bit as susceptible to APPLICATION viruses (such as those contained in ActiveX controls) as PCs!

Mac fanboys make a big deal over Mac's quick boot time. Hey, how 'bout that. They also hype the "culture of good quality software". Again, hey, how 'bout that. How about the Windows culture of abundant software? I don't know about you, but I like knowing that the entire universe of software capabilities is available to me out there. I don't have to settle for table scraps like Mac users.

Serious computer users (and gamers) wouldn't be caught dead with a Mac. This article details five reasons why PCs are better than Macs from the perspective of those people.

  • PCs Are Better For Games
  • PCs Are Better Media Machines
  • PCs Are More Cost-Effective
  • Apple Is Fascist (elaboration follows)
  • It's Still a PC World Out There (ie, 96.5% of all computer users can't be wrong)
Elaborating on the 'Apple is Fascist' tag. The author probably should have worded this differently. Since he didn't, allow me to give that section of his article a new tag: "I hope you like it as-is, because you're NEVER going to be able to mod it".

xfloggingkylex is the ultimate PC guru. He's been building Frankenstein PCs (buy the components separately and assemble a super computer made-to-order) since he was in his mid-teens. The idea of accepting ANY computer (laptops excepted) as unmodifiable is anathema to him! As it should be! If I buy a computer and find out in a year that a new super video card is available that makes everything before it obsolete, I'm not about to run out and buy a new computer! I'm going to buy the card and install it myself (or, better yet, have xfloggingkylex do it; he'll also overclock and tune it while he's at it).

Finally, no one presents the Mac vs. PC argument better than Charlie Brooker does in this article. Read it in it's entirety; it's effin hysterical! Here's an excerpt to whet your appetite.
I hate Macs. I have always hated Macs. I hate people who use Macs. I even hate people who don't use Macs but sometimes wish they did. Macs are glorified Fisher-Price activity centres for adults; computers for scaredy cats too nervous to learn how proper computers work; computers for people who earnestly believe in feng shui.

PCs are the ramshackle computers of the people. You can build your own from scratch, then customise it into oblivion. Sometimes you have to slap it to make it work properly, just like the Tardis (Doctor Who, incidentally, would definitely use a PC). PCs have charm; Macs ooze pretension. When I sit down to use a Mac, the first thing I think is, "I hate Macs", and then I think, "Why has this rubbish aspirational ornament only got one mouse button?" Losing that second mouse button feels like losing a limb. If the ads were really honest, Webb would be standing there with one arm, struggling to open a packet of peanuts while Mitchell effortlessly tore his apart with both hands. But then, if the ads were really honest, Webb would be dressed in unbelievably po-faced avant-garde clothing with a gigantic glowing apple on his back. And instead of conducting a proper conversation, he would be repeatedly congratulating himself for looking so cool, and banging on about how he was going to use his new laptop to write a novel, without ever getting round to doing it, like a mediocre idiot.
"Fisher-Price activity centres for adults". That's funny, I don't care who you are.

To summarize:
  • Mac users are pretentious poseurs.
  • Apple is a smug, arrogant bunch of ex-hippies selling one-size-fits-all crap to said pretentious poseurs.
  • PCs are made to do actual work
  • The reason Windows is targeted for viruses more than Mac is because hackers won't waste their time on insignificant toys
  • Macs are nearly impossible to mod; PCs are easily modifiable.
  • PC users have the entire universe of software available to them; Mac users are happy with table scraps.
There you go. PC > Mac. Quod erat demonstrandum.