Saturday, March 7, 2009

Wiener of the Week

This week the WotW is a double offender. And I do mean 'offender', in every sense of the word.

General Motors is run by quite possibly the most stupid and inept people to ever pull down a paycheck. Naturally, they've been rewarded for their incompetence by our numskull government with a pile of bailout money. This is offensive, no? It gets worse.

General Motors did exactly one thing right in the past 20 years. That one thing was Saturn. Saturn was going to be the new prototype of automobile manufacturing. Built in Tennessee. Quasi-independent of the mother corporation. Composite bodies with a steel frame cage providing maximum safety in a wreck (more on that later). And the price? As low as for any vehicle available at that time.

How come I know so much about Saturns? Because my little family has owned FIVE of them between 1992 and the present. I was in wrecks, one of them quite serious, in 2 of them. In the serious wreck, I hit a stationary vehicle at a speed in excess of 50 MPH...and walked away from the crumpled little vehicle completely unharmed!

How about the gas mileage? My mileage was always over 30 MPG in my Saturns; my last one averaged about 34 MPG.

Were they reliable? Ask me. You bet your hindquarters they were reliable! Every one of my Saturns was virtually problem-free.

But over the years GM began corrupting Saturn. Saturn became less independent. The cars lost their unique look. The composite body was phased out. The company that was different, the company that was the prototype, became just another subsidiary of The Company That Couldn't Shoot Straight.

And now, as of 2010 or 2011, it will be no more.

Eff you, GM! You are a most deserving Wiener of the Week.