Coffee is health food

Yes, you read that title correctly. Coffee is actually good for you.

Recent studies indicate that coffee drinkers are less likely to develop Alzheimer's, colon cancer, and diabetes compared to non-drinkers, and they're also less apt to die from heart disease.

Woo hoo! Who knew that I was contributing to my long-term health and well-being all those years I've spent pounding cup after cup after cup of coffee? I can now add "Nutritional Expert" to my titles alongside "Pain Management Expert".

But like all good things, there ARE detrimental effects to coffee in addition to its numerous beneficial effects. It is essential for women to take heed of this risk. Am I referring to insomnia, rapid heartbeat, or irregular heartbeat? Who cares about that stuff? I'm talking about something REALLY important!

Around half of all women possess a gene shown to link breast size to coffee intake.

"Drinking coffee can have a major effect on breast size," said Helena Jernström, a lecturer in experimental oncology at Lund University.
[...]
Studies carried out on almost 270 women showed that there was indeed a clear connection between coffee and smaller breasts. The results of Jernström's findings have been published in the British Journal of Cancer.

No! Not smaller breasts! Oh, the HORROR!

But don't fret. That which coffee taketh, it maketh up for by being a factor in preventing breast cancer!

[C]offee reduces the risk of breast cancer.
[...]
Previous studies have shown that women can reduce this risk [of breast cancer] by drinking at least three cups of coffee a day.

You may lose a cup(size), but you'll gain protection from cancer with three cups (of coffee). It's a tough trade-off, I know. Better healthy than huge, I suppose.

But now you know. The next time some snooty health freak starts giving you flack about your coffee intake, you let them know just how wonderful coffee is for your health.

I'm STILL waiting for the study that proves that bacon is health food....that, and chocolate.