Thomas Fullmer, 1962-2012

I got caught in the worst kind of traffic yesterday. It took over 30 minutes to go 1/4 mile. I thought that was the worst thing I would experience on a Friday. It wasn't.

When I got home, DeadEye told me the bad news: my brother, Tom was dead.

Talking to my mom on the phone, it took every ounce of strength for me to choke back tears -- hell, what I feared would be SOBS -- to be strong for her. I thought I was prepared for this. I wasn't. There's no such thing as being prepared for the loss of someone you love so much.

Understand, Tom had been dying or in the throws of death for 20+ years. First it was the ultra-rare blood disorder that knocked his white cell count down to around 35. Then, after a near-miraculous recovery as a result of an experimental drug, the so-called "side effects" of said miracle drug began to finish the job the blood disease started.

After a few short years of good health, Tom developed polycystic kidney disease. Literally hundreds of cysts grew in and around his kidneys, most small, but some as large as grapefruit. The tumors pressed against his internal organs, crushing them and causing incredible pain. Worse, they made it difficult for him to keep his meals down.

And yet, he lived another 15 years. For 15 years he defied death. Even when his kidneys began to fail, he defied death. It took liver failure to finally bring him down.

It's fitting that he defied death for 15 years. Because the man Tom Fullmer was one tough hombre. In his youth, when he was healthy, he was the manliest of men. Women wanted him. Men wanted to be him. Hell, I wanted to be him.

His was a life filled with irony. He was terrible in school. But, after taking an entry-level job as a laborer, he worked his way up to carpenter, and then to licensed electrician. I've looked at schematics. There are no stupid electricians. He wasn't dumb. He just didn't get school, and school didn't get him.

He read voraciously, particularly books of history. He was as knowledgeable about the history of Europe from Roman times to the present as anyone I've ever known. He was even knowledgeable about Nordic mythology: he is the only person I've known besides Internet Superintelligence Vox Day who could speak knowledgeably about Radnarok.

His diseases were especially cruel. He was robbed of his home, his marriage, his ability to work...but never his dignity. His mind remained strong, albeit dulled by the drugs, right up until just recently.

He had the ability to make everyone around him comfortable. He made everyone laugh with his funny stories, goofy faces, and general outgoing nature. He remained upbeat even in the face of incredible suffering.

I loved and respected Tom. We weren't especially close as kids, due to the fact he was 4 years younger than I and 5 grades behind me (do YOU know any high school seniors who hang out with their 7th grade brother?). That was my mistake. Tom, it turns out, was an indispensable friend and mentor.

Tom helped me through the tough times I experienced after I got dumped by my girlfriend of several years, dropped out of college, and lost my faith in God (and pretty much everything else). He shepherded me through times when I didn't much care if I lived or died, until I could get my feet back under me. We effectively swapped roles; he was the big brother, and I followed his example.

I will miss Tom, more than I can express in mere words. If there is a heaven...if there is salvation (and I believe there is)...then Tom is in the loving embrace of his Savior right now.

Tom, your 50 years on this earth were too short, and too filled with pain. But what you left behind -- your legacy -- will live on and on.

You once told DeadEye that you loved her and thought of her as a sister. She was lying in bed last night SMILING at that memory. Your legacy lives on with her.

You taught my boys how to handle weapons and shoot. They loved and admired you with all of their hearts. The men they have become -- that, too, is your legacy.

As for me? I might not be here now if it wasn't for you. I certainly wouldn't be the man I am now without your influence. 

Tom is free of the pain now. Free from suffering. Free from this maddening world. Rest, strong man. Know you were respected in this life. Know you were loved by family and friends. And know that you WILL be missed.

I love you, my brother, my friend, forever.

The persecuted persecute

Hearken back to April 2008, when the State of Text staged an over-the-top paramilitary raid on the Yearning For Zion (YFZ) ranch and kidnapped the children of FLDS church members. I made multiple blog posts regarding this atrocity. In those posts, I called into question the actions of Texas law enforcement, which I (correctly) labeled as police-state brutality and wrong on all fronts. As a result, I was labeled pro-FLDS and an apologist for their practices.

I wonder what I'll be labeled now. 

It seems that the persecuted have become the persecutors. This story, which I'll summarize in the interest of brevity since the pertinent facts are spread throughout it, merits condemnation for those practitioners of the FLDS faith who were involved.

An individual in Colorado City, AZ, a former FLDS member and frequent critic of the sect, has for some time been receiving "gifts" of dead cats on his property. According to the story, the dead cats are supposed to be an intimidation tactic by FLDS members against said individual.

The latest incident, however, didn't involve a dead cat, but rather a live cat half-buried in concrete on his property. The animal was in incredible agony. After it was rescued, it was taken to a vet, but it died of its injuries in spite of efforts to save it.

You can tell a lot about a person by their treatment of animals. I'm no fan of cats, since they tend to make me stop breathing, but I would in no way ever condone subjecting a cat to the agony this animal endured. Only a monster would do such a thing. Or a sociopath. Either way, there's no denying that the persons involved here are evil to their core.

The FLDS church needs to "get it" here. If you condone intimidation of critics and torture of animals, you are no better than the mouth-breathers over at FLDS Texas who fanned the flames of persecution against you in the aftermath of the YFZ raid. 

Do the right thing. Identify the persons involved so they can stand before the law. Show everyone that you're not "those people" that the mouth-breathers accuse you of being. 

xfloggingkylex's reaction to the linked story was, "Fuck the FLDS!". Mine will be the same if you don't make this right.

New Tizona Post

I've spent years trying to figure out why people fail to understand how governments have been systematically tearing down the foundations of individual liberties. Now I know.

Read more at The Tizona Group.

Disingenuous much, Rupert?

An old adage intones, "Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it."

Rupert Murdoch is signaling displeasure with Team Elephant's choice of Presidential candidate.

To hear Rupert Murdoch tell it lately, Mitt Romney lacks stomach and heart. He “seems to play everything safe.” And he is not nearly as tough as he needs to be on President Obama.

Mr. Murdoch’s thoughts on the Republican presidential candidate’s prospects? “Tough O Chicago pros will be hard to beat unless he drops old friends from the team.” Chances of that? “Doubtful,” he tapped out in a Twitter message from his iPad last weekend.

Then, on Thursday, Mr. Murdoch’s flagship newspaper, The Wall Street Journal, published a blistering editorial criticizing Mr. Romney’s campaign, accusing it of being hapless and looking “confused in addition to being politically dumb.”

Mr. Murdoch has never been particularly impressed with Mr. Romney, friends and associates of both men say. The two times Mr. Romney visited the editorial board of The Journal, Mr. Murdoch did not work very hard to conceal his lack of excitement. “There was zero enthusiasm, no engagement,” said one Journal staff member who was at the most recent meeting in December.

You'll pardon me if I pause here to soak in the schadenfreude.

You see, it was Murdoch's Fox News that has served as the leading cheerleaders for Romney for the past year. It was Murdoch's Fox News that declared Romney the front-runner well before the primaries started and continued to label him the front-runner through the early primaries notwithstanding the obvious lackluster response to him from the electorate. It was Murdoch's Fox News who declared Il Dilettante the only candidate who could defeat Obama. And it was Murdoch's Fox News that served, effectively, as Romney's unpaid propaganda machine.

NOW Rupert decides he isn't that into Romney? NOW?!?!?!?!?

You created this situation, Rupert. You can like it, or, like the rest of us, you can lump it.

But don't try to sell us your belated regrets now. Anyone who has been paying attention ain't buying it.

The right outcome, but the wrong reason

Faithful reader April Day sent me this message. The subject is not my bailiwick. I usually defer to Bill Medvecky or Toes when it comes to CASA and CPS issues. But given that Bill doesn't seem to be signing, and Toes has seemingly fallen off the face of the Earth, I'll be happy to post on this.

Here's something you might want to address on your blog.

On June 19, Debra Brown, the wife of Judge Mike Brown of San Angelo, Texas, was sentenced to 4 years in prison from embezzling funds from the Child Advocacy Center. Her husband divorced her and she will have to pay more than $300,000 to the Child Advocacy Center.

Our friend, Bill Medvecky, discussed Debra Brown on his blog. He posted photos of Debra Brown and her girl friends from CASA in Colorado City. But Bill has ended his blog and is on vacation this month.

For further information, please read the San Angelo Standard Times.

There is schadenfreude aplenty in this news, and yet....

It's a little like Al Capone getting pinched for tax evasion instead of racketeering and murder. This disgraceful POS sub-human is going to jail where, trust me, she belongs. But she belongs there for what she and her do-goodie-good ilk have done to the children who were torn from their parents and placed in situations where they could be raped or molested or even killed, all done in the name of protecting the children but carried out, in reality, for no better reason that to protect the funding of their loathsome and predatory agencies.

Yeah, I'm glad Debra Brown is rotting in prison. I just wish it was for the right reason.

My Point, Made

I've been hearing for 8 years about how important it is for me to hold my nose and vote for the assclown with the 'R' after his name, if for no other reason than to assure that the Supreme Court isn't taken over by "dangerous" Liberal elements. My principled stand has been that voting for anyone whom you truly believe to be a bad choice is worse than not voting at all. What was needed was a test case to show I was right.

Today I was proved right.

Republican George W. Bush -- for whom I was told to hold my nose, shut up, and vote -- appointed alleged "conservative" John Roberts as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court during his reign of error. And it was Chief Justice Roberts who cast the deciding vote that made the Constitutional horror show that is Obamacare the law of the land.

Do not EVER again tell me to vote for a candidate who doesn't reflect my vision of what this country should be "to protect the country from a Liberal Supreme Court" -- or for any other reason, for that matter. In fact, do yourself a favor and stop voting entirely. All you do by voting is to lend legitimacy to the charade.

A government that can force you to buy health care is a government that can force you to do anything. We have officially passed from citizens to serfs. We have no one to blame but ourselves.

Stupid enough, indeed

I don't follow all that many people on Twitter, mostly friends and my favorite bloggers. One of the people I follow is IowaHawk, a blogger I heard about from Toes.

David Burge is hilarious. Mostly, he's hilarious because he's got a sniper's talent for hitting at the very essence of an issue. A great example is this tweet from yesterday.

As one of those falling into that category, I must say: guilty as charged.

For years I've said that the official motto of the state of Maryland should be, "If you can imagine it, we can tax it". Maryland has been a one-party state practically non-stop since Reconstruction. And it shows. Maryland Donkeys put the "tard" in "libtard".

Not content with chasing off most of the state's millionaires by raising their taxes in 2008, Governor Martin O'Malley (known as "owe Malley" around these parts) and the one-party drones in the legislature apparently want to chase off the rest of the tax base as well.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Maryland is nuts.

Expect to hear that I've moved to Virginia sometime in the near future.

New Tizona post

The G-8 has come to FredCo!

Frederick County, Maryland, USA. It’s a relatively normal place…normal being relative anywhere, I suppose. It’s home to about 235,000 souls, and is roughly 670 square miles in area. You can drive from one end of the county to another in under 30 minutes, whether it’s north-south or east-west.

I’ve call FredCo home for 13 years now. As with most who moved here in the 90′s, it was the only place in the Baltimore/Washington corridor where we could afford a larger house with a yard.

But FredCo has within its borders something that sets it apart from other mostly rural counties in Maryland. Just outside of Thurmont, a mere 15 minute drive from the city of Frederick, is a little place called Camp David. And, suddenly, this weekend Frederick County is on the map.

Read more at The Tizona Group.

Outsourcing's Final Frontier?

Outsourcing. It's a dirty word for most of us. In my line of work, computer programming, it's a dirty word on the highest level. Face it, if you don't have special skills or qualifications, you face the risk of having your job outsourced.

But it's not just that. It's calling customer support for your laptop and getting a man named "Peggy" on the phone, speaking the worst kind of broken English, and providing no help whatsoever.

The other day I was driving to work and heard a commercial that made me do a double-take. I had to hear the commercial a second time to make sure that I heard it right. I had heard it right.

There is a company called Surrogacy Abroad (website here) that offers surrogate mother services in...wait for it...INDIA.

Surrogacy in India has become an increasingly popular alternative for Americans. The laws for surrogacy in India favor the intended parents more than the other countries. The cost for surrogacy in India is roughly a third of what it costs in the U.S. Also, the range of treatment options available is broad and at the forefront of art technology. Surrogacy in India offers a unique opportunity for discretion, which would be difficult to achieve in the U.S.

Wait, what?

Has outsourcing reached the level of reductio ad absurdum? We're outsourcing....childbirth?!?!?

Beam me up, Scotty. There is no intelligent life on this planet.

Response to friendly taunting

A little over a week ago I noticed that The Modern Pharisee had resumed blogging. In his post The Lesser of Three Evils, he essentially laid out the case that Ron Paul supporters owed it to themselves and their country to choke back their bile and disgust and vote for "the best conservative candidate on the ballot" this Fall, citing the experience of King David.

In The Pharisee's view, David chose "the lesser of three evils" when given a choice.

While I was reading the post, a paraphrase of Carly Simon's 1970s hit song You're So Vain kept running through my head. "You're so vain. You probably think this post is about you, don't you, don't you, don't you?"

Well, uh, yeah. I did think that post was about me. Hugh and I have had that particular discussion before. But whether or not it was vanity became irrelevant when I received this Google message from Hugh.

Hugh: I'm back to blogging, and this is for you (and a few others)

http://hughmcbryde.blogspot.com/2012/04/lesser-of-three-evils.html.

That got a smile out of me. Okay, taunt accepted. Now it's my turn.

I like your analogy. But it's a bit flawed (sorry, Hugh). David was forced to choose between three horrible punishments, while we may choose between three options that, while not pleasant, are certainly NOT horrible punishments. David's three choices were (a) seven years of famine, (b) fleeing his enemies for three months, or (c) three days of pestilence. Our three choices are (a) vote for the incumbent Corporatist thug, Il Duce, (b) vote for the winner of the Republican primaries Corporatist dilettante hand-chosen by the Team Elephant elites, or (c) stay home and flip 'em both the bird. In our case, choice (c) is not only no punishment, but satisfying, in a juvenile sort of way.

Hugh's analogy further breaks down. David did NOT choose the punishment that befell his people. He chose one of the three options that he absolutely did not want to occur. He left the final decision up to the Lord.

I am in a great strait: let us fall now into the hand of the LORD; for his mercies are great: and let me not fall into the hand of man.

One way or another, in our situation, we have to choose (a), (b), or (c).

We know that choice (a) is out of the question. Il Duce incorporates all of the worst traits of horrendous presidents of the past, including thug Woodrow Wilson, messianic Franklin Roosevelt, "Great Society" Lyndon Johnson, and bumbling Jimmy Carter. But is choice (b) really that much better? Sure, Il Dilettante has great, presidential hair. But he's flip-flopped on every major issue over the past 20 years. If he's a conservative, then I'm Conrad Hilton. The elites moved heaven and earth -- including turning Fox News into the official Romney for President communications organ -- to push Romney through. Why so much effort? It's because...wait for it...NOBODY (and I mean NOBODY) wants him. Okay, Ann Coulter wants him. She can have him.

Choice (c) looks better and better to me all the time. I've already stated that this country is too far gone for any single individual operating as President to fix it.

Four years ago I reacted angrily when The Hausfraurer said that he would no longer vote, because, by voting, he was lending legitimacy to this phony, Corporatist system. Four years later, I completely agree with him.

The game is rigged. There isn't a dime's bit of difference between the "two" candidates. They both love big government; they only disagree when it comes to how big and who pays.

Sign me up for choice (c).

Is there a cure for blogger ennui?

It's been two months since my last, half-hearted post on this blog. I'm sure some of the dozen or so regular followers of this blog have been wondering where the hell I've been, why I've been so quiet, and why, with so much going on in the world, I haven't stuck my opinionated viewpoint into the middle of the goings on.

I've been here before. I've blamed it on "no interest in current events". Another time it was "burnout". Still another time I explained it as "inexplicable indifference". Then there was "my give a damn tank is on 'E'".

But I think the first extended period I had with no posts is the time I captured the essence best: "blogger ennui". It's a certain blend of general indifference coupled with the knowledge that one is powerless to do anything about what's going on.

"Take the red pill", they said. "You'll be able to see through the bullshit", they said.

Yeah. See through the bullshit...and see how hopeless any chance of correcting course is. For every person who has had the scales of cultural and political propaganda fall from their eyes so that they see clearly, there are 99 who not only don't see clearly, but are totally happy with the status quo.

Libs love the ever-encroaching socialist dystopia. "Conservatives" love the expansion of the military-industrial complex. "Bomb Iran - killing people makes them love and respect us". Every day freedoms are lost, in the name of the "common good", or "to protect us from" the current boogie man in the cross hairs.

Even if a libertarian were elected President with a libertarian majority in both houses of Congress, we wouldn't be able to fix the mess that is the USSA. Too many people are locked onto the guvmint teat -- both individuals and corporate looters -- to save this sinking ship.

But, hey, let's have a primary election coronation for Mitt Romney, so that we can have "Clinton-Dole" and "Obama-McCommie" redux. Let's pretend like the tea party hasn't been completely co-opted by the Elephants. Let's pretend that Occupy actually means something more than a bunch of spoiled 20-somethings whining that life isn't fair.

If I could still pretend, I'd be blogging. I can't pretend.

I'm not calling it quits. I'm just acknowledging the futility of it all.

Super *yawn* Bowl Prediction

"Did I read that right? Did the Vulture REALLY *yawn* the Super Bowl?"

Seriously, this rematch of what was perhaps the single most yawn-inducing bore fest in Super Bowl history holds very little interest in the Vulture household. Only the allure of eating massive quantities of junk food and watching the only decent commercials shown on TV make this Sunday anything approaching super.

This is less of a prediction than a rooting preference. The Patriots have just GOT to win.

I'll have to get a post-frontal lobotomy if the Giants win. It'll be impossible to listen to sports radio if the Giants win, based on the amount of journalistic fellatio administered by radio "professionals" on the Giants in anticipation of this game.

What is it with Big Media (the BM for short) and New York teams? With the exception of the Lakers, no LA team gets stroked the way New York teams do. Outside of the Cubs, Chicago teams get no love like New York teams get. Only the Red Sox get the BM as lathered up as ANY New York team does.

I can't stand it. Patriots, please, please win. Save us from this hell.

New Tizona Post

Occupy….Frederick?!?!?

How do “Frederick, MD” and “Occupy” end up in the same sentence? Behold, Occupy Frederick!

Read more at The Tizona Group.

Heart, broken

It was going to be a game that came down to turnovers. That was supposed to favor the 49ers, who finished the season an astounding +28 on turnovers. Of course, that was before Ted Ginn was declared unable to play because of a bum knee. It was yesterday that we all learned just how valuable Ted Ginn really is to the 49ers.

He was replaced by Kyle Williams. Kyle MF'ing Williams.

It seemed as if old Kyle thought he was playing in some meaningless pickup game instead of for a chance to play in the Super Bowl. He carelessly bobbled a pitch early in the game, fortunate to fall on his own fumble. He dove (DOVE!!!!!) to catch one punt, coming up with it, but risking a costly turnover with really nothing to gain from it.

And then he got down to seriously screwing the pooch.

A poor punt by the Giants resulted in a ground ball bouncing along the sideline. Even a fan like me knows what the punt returner is supposed to do in that situation - yell out the signal for blockers to get as far away from the ball as possible and then do likewise.

Oh, but not Kyle MF'ing Williams. No, he ran alongside the bouncing ball like a retarded dog chasing a stick. The ball grazed his knee and was recovered by the Giants. It's bad enough that the asshat broke a cardinal rule of punt returns by placing himself in the path of an erratically bouncing football. It's what he did after the ball grazed him that made this heartsick Vulture lose his marbles. He made no effort to chase down the ball. Rather, he play acted that the ball hadn't touched him, and acted all aggrieved when the referee confirmed the call on the field, that the ball had touched him and was Giants' ball.

A handful of plays later, a Giants touchdown gave them the lead.

The Niners moved down the field and tied the game at 17, where it remained at the end of the 4th quarter.

Overtime.

Overtime looked just like the final minutes of the 4th quarter. The 49ers couldn't mount any offense. The Giants were being dominated by the 49ers defense.

Enter Kyle MF'ing Williams.

The Giants punted after yet another 3-and-out. Williams fielded the punt cleanly, took a few steps while holding the ball like a loaf of bread, and was promptly stripped of the ball.

The Giants were in field goal position at that point, but they ran a few plays to set up a closer field goal, which they made to win the game 20-17.

So here's the breakdown. The 49ers defense allowed 10 points in the first half, but didn't allow a drive of over 30 yards or allow the Giants to cross midfield from the 3rd quarter through overtime.

The Giants only two scoring chances in the second half and overtime were gifts courtesy of Kyle MF'ing Williams. Those two scoring chances resulted in 10 points, and victory for Big Blue.

The final score of that game should have been 17-10 or perhaps even 14-10. The Giants rightly should have been shut out in the second half. The 49ers should be the team headed to Indianapolis for the Super Bowl.

But that isn't how it turned out. Thanks almost entirely to Kyle MF'ing Williams, it's the Giants, not the 49ers, who will represent the NFC in the Super Bowl.

Thanks a buttload, Kyle. You single-handedly destroyed your team's dream season.

A dream season continues

A Division title - the first in 9 years. A playoff victory - the first in 9 years. Oh, but it wasn't just ANY playoff victory. It was one of the most exciting and suspense-filled games I've ever witnessed, and, trust me, in my 53 years I've seen a metric shit-ton of football games.

The 49ers jumped out to a 17-0 lead on the strength of 4 forced turnovers in the first half. The Saints rallied to close to 17-14 by halftime. Going into the fourth quarter, the 49ers lead 20-14. The Saints hit a field goal. The 49ers hit a field goal. At 23-17, it was exciting, but nothing special. Ah, but the last 4:11 was something beyond special.

The Saints scored on a quick strike pass to Darren Sproles to take their first lead of the game, 24-23, with 4:11 left on the clock.

Now, you gotta understand what goes through the mind of a fan who's lived through the torture of 8 straight losing seasons. Not just losing seasons, but seasons ranging from putrid to merely mediocre...but mostly putrid. I'd seen this movie about a half dozen times over the previous 8 years. Niners exceed expectations, jump to a big lead....and then managed to lose -- sometimes badly. This seemed oh so much like deja vu.

Ah, but the script changed. The Niners marched down the field, getting a big play in the process on an Alex Smith to Vernon Davis pass for 37 yards. It wasn't the first the two had during the game. It wouldn't be the last.

With 2:18 remaining in the game, on third and eight from the Saints 28 yard line, the Niners pulled a complete surprise out of the back of the play book. Alex Smith took the snap from shotgun formation, then sprinted left. A seal block by diminutive wide receiver Kyle Williams on 280-lb defensive end Will Smith made the first down certain. But it was sprinting left tackle Joe Staley, who laid out a Saints safety at the 5 yard line, who assured the score. A two-point conversion attempt failed, but no matter; the 49ers had retaken the lead, and their top-notch defense was going to seal the victory. I was sure of it.

Uh, yeah.......about that.

Drew Brees is one of the most amazing quarterbacks I've ever seen. He's a first-ballot Hall of Famer, for sure. A 5 point deficit with just over 2 minutes to play is nothing to him. He connected with all-world tight end Jim Graham for a 66-yard lightning bolt, and I was right back to those deja vu feelings all over again.

Now the shit was real. A poor kickoff return left the Niners stuck on their own 15 yard line. Only 1:37 left. I might have been optimistic had the QB been named Montana or Young. But, as much as I like and admire Alex Smith, he's no Montana, no Young. Or, at least he wasn't prior to this game. It was time for Alex to step up and play like the former greats.

It seemed so obvious at the start of the drive; get down the field, kick a tying field goal, hope for the best in OT. The 49ers had other plans.

On the second play of the drive the 49ers surprised the Saints with a deep crossing pattern to Vernon Davis that went for 47 yards down to the Saints 20. I started to believe again - we were going to get that tie, and we were going to overtime. Two plays later, the 49ers showed me and the world that OT wasn't in the plan. Alex Smith hit Vernon Davis on a skinny post for the game winning touchdown with a slim 9 seconds left in the game. A squib kick, a gimmicky desperation play by the Saints, and it was a final. The 49ers were headed to the NFC Championship Game, the team's first since 1997.

This team has brought me more sports-fan happiness than any team since the '94 champions. More than the '89 monster team that outscored the competition by 100 points in three playoff games. More than the '88 team that beat Cincy with 34 seconds left in SB XXIII. More than the 18-1 '84 champions. Even more than the '81 team, the first SB championship team, and the team that most reminds me of the '11 group.

No matter what happens Sunday in the Championship game I am thrilled with what has happened this season. But I don't think they're done.

Can this team win the Super Bowl? I wouldn't bet against it.

New Tizona Post

If you get your news from any American paper that subscribes to the Associated Press feed (such as the Washington Post), you might be thinking right about now that the Team Elephant presidential primaries have resolved into a two-man race: "front runner" Mitt "Presidential Hair" Romney, and Rick "Bomb the shit out of Iran!" Santorum.

Just one problem: it's a complete lie.

Read more at The Tizona Group.

Wiener of the Year - 2011

It's time for the least prestigious unknown award currently presented by the denizens of the old WWW - The Vulture's Wiener of the Year.

I received a number of nominations for WotY for 2011, including three very good ones from April Day. Each and every individual nominated is certainly deserving of derision. The list includes:

California Jim (AKA Jammin, AKA CAJim) - a troll from the execrable FLDS Texas website bigotry cauldron, who once took over this blog's comments for a full week to debate "journalistic integrity" and my lack thereof.

Gregory Prickett (AKA The Prickette, the 2010 WotY - nominated due to his ludicrous lawsuit against various blogger cohorts of mine, a lawsuit meant simply to harass, a lawsuit dismissed by a judge who saw through the pointlessness of the suit.

Former Seattle police officer Ian Birk, about whom I wrote earlier last year, for murdering in cold blood an innocent civilian. Throw in the fact that Seattle PD did NOTHING about it - no charges, no disciplinary action, N-O-T-H-I-N-G, and you have a most Wiener-worthy nominee.

The usual suspects came up as well. Il Duce. Big Media (the BM for short). Congress. The TSSA*. The inaptly named "justice" system. The Occupy movement. Team Elephant.

But this is the year when the Wiener of the Year award achieves absolute synchronicity. The 2011 WotY award winner truly IS a Weiner -- Anthony Weiner.

Weiner, a gawdawful socialist member of Congress since 1999, inadvertently sent a tweet intended for a single individual to his entire "followers" list. Ah, but this wasn't just any old tweet. This was a picture of little Anthony's, well, wiener. After claiming that his Twitter account had been hacked and trying one excuse after another for another several days, Weiner finally resigned from Congress. As I noted at the time, Weiner "pulled out" at a senior center in his District.

What makes Weiner's story even more wiener-worthy is that he is married to a smoking-hot woman who was pregnant when all of this was going on. What. A. Douchebag.

But isn't that what makes a Wiener, after all?

Heretofore, the Wiener of the Year award logo will no longer be the three strutting wieners I've used since 2007. From now on, this will be the WotY logo.

Congratulations to former Representative Anthony Weiner! You are the 2011 Wiener of the Year!


* You can't abbreviate Schutzstaffel without the double 'S'.

New Tizona Post

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