Week 17 - the exclamation point

A season that began with high expectations, fell flat on its face by week 7, and resulted in the firing of once-popular head coach Mike Nolan, turned completely around once head coach Mike Singletary and quarterback Shawn Hill took over. Sunday was the exclamation point of that turnaround - a last second 27-24 win over the Redskins.

Shawn Hill played extremely well in the second half after what can only be called an aggravating first half. The defense played exceptionally well in the second half after a somewhat sloppy first half. It was an exciting game, and it set the tone for next year's expectations. Trust me, playing in the stank division that the Niners play in, nothing less than a division crown will be acceptable.

Frank Gore came back from his ankle injury to rush for 58 yards, putting him over 1,000 for the third straight year. He's the first 49ers running back to ever accomplish that feat.

Mike Singletary started out 0-2 in his first two games as interim head coach. He won 5 of his last 7 games to finish 5-4. Not too shabby. FINALLY the York's pulled their heads out of their butts and took the 'interim' tag off of his title. He's the man now, as well he should be. It's a different team with him as head coach.

The only thing still hanging in the wind is the fate of Mike Martz, the offensive coordinator. I know that he is not Coach Singletary's preference -- Coach S wants to go smash mouth. Martz is a razzle-dazzle finesse kind of coach. But I really hate the idea of changing offensive coordinators AGAIN. It will be the 4th different coordinator in 4 years. But I trust Singletary to do the right thing. He hasn't let me down yet.

This is the last 49ers update of the season (I know you're glad to hear that, Toes). But wait til next year! It'll be huge! You'll see!

Wiener of the Week

Whereas last week was the perfect example of a no-brainer WotW, this week is the complete opposite. There really is no clear-cut wiener. I suppose this clown will have to do.

Note to criminals: Do not lie to police about your name when your surname is tattooed on your neck.

Darnell L. Frazier, 25, did just that ... uh, well, he tried to do just that early Thursday on St. Paul's East Side.

According to the police report, an officer stopped two men walking in the street at Forest Street and Minnehaha Avenue. One was "evasive" about his identification, telling the officer he had never had a photo ID. He said his name was Darnell Lewis, spokesman Peter Panos said.

The officer, however, noticed that the man had "Frazier" tattooed on his neck.

Frazier was arrested on four misdemeanor warrants, including driving after license revocation, driving after suspension and no proof of insurance.

He also had at least two felony warrants for his arrest: a probation violation in Jackson County for bringing a stolen vehicle into Minnesota and a failure to appear in Hennepin County on a drug charge.

Being stupid isn't a crime. But it's not exactly a handy trait, especially for a criminal trying to be "evasive" about his identification.

So "Frazier", you're the Wiener of the Week.

---

Only two more shopping days remain before I name the Wiener of the Year. Shop early, shop often.

Christmas Day

And in despair I bowed my head
“There is no peace on earth,” I said,
“For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.”

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail
With peace on earth, good will to men.”

from "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

At no time in my adult life have I felt so much despair over the state of our world and pessimism about the likelihood of our nation being able to right the ship and become, once again, the beacon of freedom to the world.

And yet, there is no need to fear, nor reason to despair. For a Savior was born some 2000 or so years ago in Judea. And this Savior has already won the only battle that matters in the end: the battle against Death and Hell.

This life is but a fleeting moment. An eternity awaits us somewhere. My hope is in Him whose birth we celebrate this day. Yeah, I know -- there's no chance He was born on December 25th, the Catholic church made this the date to draw pagans away from worship of the Winter Solstice, blah, blah, blah. Ultimately, does it matter which day is chosen to celebrate His birth? Remember, it is not His birth that makes Him memorable or worthy of our trust and worship. His death and resurrection some 33 years later are the events that changed everything.

"'There is no peace on earth', I said." True dat. And there never will be THAT kind of peace in this world - ever. But the peace that surpasses all understanding is available to all who believe that Jesus is Lord, and whose lives have been changed forever by His saving Grace.

Merry Christmas, all.

Toxic Culture

I think anyone who reads this blog knows that I'm a huge Steve Czaban fan. His is the only sport-talk radio program worth listening to. He's just a fun but commonsensical kind of guy who doesn't take himself too seriously.

Not long ago, the Washington Redskins paid tribute to their former strong safety, Sean Taylor, who was senselessly murdered during a home invasion burglary just over a year ago. Czabe took the occasion to opine on the root cause of the tragedy: the toxic culture that created the three thugs who took Taylor's life.

Because this poisonous lifestyle being peddled as entertainment, is not a white problem. It’s a black problem. Yes. White kids listen to rap. Yes, white kids commit crimes.

But by and large, the glorification of the lifestyle, and the destruction of lives it brings, hits overwhelmingly on the inner city, and black youths.

Bulls eye.

Here's the thing. There is undeniably a toxic culture afoot in our land - what some call the 'hip hop' culture, but what I call the 'ghetto' culture, because one who lives it can only count on ending up in one of three places: the ghetto, prison, or dead.

Hollywood and the music industry shamelessly promote this toxin as 'hip', 'cool', 'with it'. But generation after generation of young black men are ruining their lives chasing this nonsense when they should be pursuing an education or a trade - a LEGITIMATE way out of the inner city horror they currently live in.

I can't tell you whether this acid eating away at the core of the black community is part of an intentional effort to destroy black America, or if it's just greed driving the creation and promotion of movies, "music" (if you can call it that), and videos that glorify thuggery and paint women as objects to be used and discarded. But the Klan can't be upset with the results. More and more young black men are forever ruining their lives. It's beyond a tragedy. It's a crime.

One last thing: it's not racist to point out the obvious, that the 'ghetto' culture is destroying black America. It's racist to bury your head in the sand and pretend it's okay.

Week 16 - comeback!

For 3 quarters Shaun Hill stunk on ice. Three picks. Three. The Niners trailed the woeful Lambs 16-3 and the offense was, well, offensive.

Then Shaun Hill went into a phone booth and changed into his Comeback Man uniform. And, with just over a minute to play, he threw what can only be called a semi-Hail Mary to the front corner of the end zone where future star receiver Josh Morgan made a tremendous catch in traffic to cement the comeback. The Niners win 17-16 over the hated Lambs! Woo Hoo!

Frank Gore was unable to play for the second consecutive week. It's tough trying to move the ball with washed-up Deshaun Foster toting the rock.

Isaac Bruce achieved a pair of career milestones against his former team. His touchdown catch in the 4th quarter was his 1,000 career catch. And a catch he made later in the quarter during the winning drive moved him into 2nd place on the all-time receiving yards list. Well done, Isaac!

The Niners finish against the disappointing (and disappointed) Washington Redskins. Let's hope we finish strong to have something to build on for next year.

Pirates!

xfloggingkylex wrote in a couple of weeks ago about the situation in the seas around the Horn of Africa.

WTF?? Why would you raid and capture an oil tanker knowing what the US will do for oil (and for Saudi Arabia).

Pirates! In Somalia? What the deuce are Willie Stargell, Manny Sanguillen, Doc Ellis, and Steve Blass doing in Somalia hijacking oil tankers? What's that? Wrong kind of pirates? Boy is my face red! Let me try again.

---

Pirates! In Somalia? What the deuce? Why are Blackbeard, Bluebeard, RedBeard and all of the other "beards" sailing their cutters from the Caribbean all the way to the Horn of Africa? What's that? Wrong again? Sheesh! Red-faced again. Let me try one more time, but before I do, I have some questions. Why were the famous real and literary pirates of the 18th century referred to by the color of their beards? And does this mean that, were I to become a pirate, I would be hung with the moniker "Graybeard"?

---

Pirates! In Somalia? You bet.

This isn't some new and obscure problem. Piracy in the area of North Africa goes back to Roman Times. The famous line from the Marine Hymn "to the shores of Tripoli" refers to a US military action ordered by President Thomas Jefferson against Barbary pirates in 1803. Most of the piracy was historically located in the Mediterranean, due to greater shipping activity in that region. But lax antipiracy enforcement around the Horn of Africa has made piracy much more lucrative in that area and with less likelihood of interdiction.

Somali pirates have become more brazen of late, hence xfloggingkylex's perplexed question. I mean, when you've moved from common merchant ships to oil supertankers, you're obviously upping the ante. Pirates took 9 ships in 12 days during one stretch. But no one has done jack to stop this reign of terror.

And who would do it, anyway? The US? Don't make me laugh! Our navy is designed for re-fighting World War II - what're we going to do, send an aircraft carrier or battleship to stop the piracy? Besides, we're broke, our military is overextended, and it really doesn't impact US interests all that much, the oil tanker notwithstanding.

What about England? If any country is known for naval supremacy, it's England. Not happening. England has Iraq war fatigue - they're not going to lift a finger on this one.

Fortunately, one great nation is preparing to take on these pirates - China. While the Chinese may seem like an ideal country to fight this battle, given that country's size and natural belicosity, the fact is that the Chinese navy hasn't done much more than play Coast Guard since the 15th Century. I'm really hoping the Chinese take on this antipiracy action. It could be one of the more entertaining examples of Keystone Kops naval tactics ever witnessed.

Wiener of the Week

Congress has been busy giving "presents" to everyone (well, their wealthy friends, anyway) this past few months. Now they've given me a slam-dunk no-brainer present for WotW.

This is the stuff of Ripley's Believe it or Not. This is a year when the nation's financial institutions are either bankrupt or standing around with their hand out to Uncle for bailout cash. This is a year where thousands of Americans have lost their homes to foreclosure, and practically all of use have seen our property values plummet; the term 'upside-down' was unheard of until this past year. The market continues to tank; all of us have watched our investments and retirement accounts swirl around the bowl on their way down the toilet.

But that didn't stop Congress from accepting an "automatic" pay raise that they could have voted to turn down, had they ANY integrity at all. But, of course, they don't.

No bowling alley on earth has the balls that the 110th Congress has. A firing squad is too good for these people. And they're the Wieners of the Week.

King George's bailout

What the Senate rightly refused to do, King George the Dim has done.

The Bush administration said it would lend $17.4 billion to General Motors Corp. and Chrysler LLC, buying them a few weeks of financial relief but leaving the biggest decisions about the industry's future to President-elect Barack Obama.

Good old King George! If ever there was a president (besides Lincoln) who acted as if he were the Emperor, it's old Georgie. I could be wrong, but I don't believe the Constitution grants the president any authority whatsoever to spend so much as one dime from the public treasury on anything, let alone bailouts. Did I miss something? Was the Constitution amended whilst I slept?

At least Ford had the common decency to decline King George's largess.

There are at least three things about this illegal and immoral act that I have issue with.

1. If there was previously any doubt as to the advent of the dictatorial presidency, they're surely gone now! King George has established a precedent - now His Holiness, King Obama, will have carte blanche to take whatever extra-Constitutional actions he so desires. Thanks, asshat!

2. These "poor" automakers are in such desperate straights! Yet that didn't stop them from spending $50 million dollars lobbying Congress during the past year! Nor from paying even more than that in salaries and bonuses to the clowns who put them into peril with their herd mentality decision making.

3. A pattern has been established. The House votes in favor of something the administration wants but the will of the people opposes. The Senate votes down the steaming pile of legislation. Then the President swoops in and mandates via fiat that what would have been the result of said steaming pile shall be so.

We're no long a Republic. Nor are we a representative democracy. We are a country by the wealthy and connected, for the wealthy and connected, against the non-wealthy and non-connected. We are Amerika!

Week 14 and 15 - WOW and 'not so wow'

You can really tell that I've been slammed the past two weeks when I can't even find time to blog about my beloved 49ers. Thankfully, I've finally finished the website for Mrs. Vulture's boss, and can return to a life of semi-normalcy.

Okay, on to my boys.

Week 14 was A-W-E-S-O-M-E. At least, from what I've read, it was. You see, I didn't get to actually SEE the game because I was at Mrs. Vulture's work Christmas party. Who schedules a Christmas party during the NFL season on a Sunday. GRRR!

Anyway, we won (24-14 over the Jets), the offense shined, and the defense shined. It was quite some game. Shawn Hill was awesome - even moreso considering that Frank Gore left the game early in the second half with an ankle injury. The defense sacked Brett Favre 3 times, picked him once, and held him t0 137 yards passing. Now THAT'S something!

Please, please, please, please, PLEASE John and Denise York, PLEASE hire Coach Singletary for the full-time head coaching position! He's created a whole new team around his philosophy of smart, intense football. He's definitely the man for the job.

---

And then there was Week 15.

Good gravy! Where did the offense go? Yeah, I know, Miami hasn't allowed a touchdown in three weeks, blah, blah, blah. When your defense shuts down the other team to the tune of 22 minutes time of possession, you've GOT to score points!

Okay, now that I've vented, I've got to say this. The offense DID move the ball consistently. They just couldn't do squat in the Red Zone. It really points to the importance of Frank Gore, who was out with the ankle injury from Week 14. He's an invaluable Red Zone weapon.

The defense survived a somewhat shaky first half to dominate the entire second half. This is NOT the same defense that had been giving up big plays right and left earlier in the year. They're playing smarter and with a completely different attitude. I think we have the beginnings of a solid defensive unit.

The 49ers have been eliminated from the playoffs. They're going to have yet another losing season -- the fifth in a row, a franchise record. But there is hope for next year. Wait til next year, wait til next year!

Wiener of the Week

This week's WotW is a no-brainer. As in, this tool has no brain.

What follows is the first two paragraphs of a "news" story by Seth Borenstein of the AP.

When Bill Clinton took office in 1993, global warming was a slow-moving environmental problem that was easy to ignore. Now it is a ticking time bomb that President-elect Barack Obama can't avoid.

Since Clinton's inauguration, summer Arctic sea ice has lost the equivalent of Alaska, California and Texas. The 10 hottest years on record have occurred since Clinton's second inauguration. Global warming is accelerating. Time is close to running out, and Obama knows it.

Did you catch the hysteria? Did you catch the "true believer" quoting of provably false statements concerning the mythical loss of sea ice, the '10 hottest years' (this year is the coldest on record in quite some time), and the 'acceleration' of warming (which, this winter at least, would be most welcome).

That a "news" reporter would spew The Religion of Global Warming doctrine as fact is deplorable. That an alleged "news" organization like the AP would publish it is criminal. How long are we to endure this asinine propaganda campaign? How friggin' long!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Seth Borenstein and the AP, you're the Wiener's of the Week.

The last piece of the fascade falls

He was supposed to be a conservative, the heir to Ronald Reagan. That "compassionate conservative" stuff? All part of his master plan to win over moderates. Once he was in the White House, he'd stride forcefully rightward and restore Conservatism in the White House.

He was supposed to want no part in "nation building" - Clinton's poorly executed attempts at creating functional nations out of third-world shitholes.

He was supposed to be a born-again Christian, saved from alcoholism by his faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

He was supposed to be all of these things. He is none of them.

It has become obvious in the past 8 years that King George the Dim is a stateist of the first order. He's a fiscal nightmare. He puts no stock whatsoever in personal liberties. How can I say that? Actions speak MUCH louder than words. King George's legacy includes a multi-trillion dollar increase in the national debt. It includes the Department of Homeland Security (the Schutzstaffel). It includes domestic spying programs that, we're assured, only target "the bad guys", but in reality could be used (and may, in fact, already be in use) against any of us.

His little adventure in Iraq (wrong war/wrong country - if you're REALLY fighting Islamic extremism, you attack it at the source, Saudi Arabia) added billions of dollars of debt in the ultimate example of nation building: nation building at gun point.

Now the fascade of who King George was supposed to be is finally destroyed en toto. His alleged Christian faith? Not so much.

President George W. Bush said his belief that God created the world is not incompatible with scientific proof of evolution.

President George W. Bush, here at an appearance Monday in McLean, Va., said in an interview on ABC's 'Nightline' that the Bible is "probably not" literally true -- even though "I think you can learn a lot from it."

And there you have it. To King George, evolution is "scientific proof". To anyone not part of the cult of Science who's bothered to do any research into the matter, it's a nice mythology that requires more faith than a belief that a superior Being created everything.

But put that aside. Who knows HOW God created the Earth? Simplistic Christians think it took 6 days because that's what Genesis says. Literalist Christians think 6,000 years, because "With the Lord a day is like a thousand years". Too bad they didn't notice the word "like" and the rest of the verse (2 Peter 3:8): "and a thousand years are like a day". That would leave THINKING Christians, who have no problem admitting that we have no idea how long it took or how God did it. Those "6 days" could have been billions of years. Day one alone could have been several billion.

The Genesis account is a simplified narrative targeted at a primitive people to whom any span of time beyond the next growing season was beyond their grasp. That's ironic when you consider that NOW that same simplified narrative is a stumbling block for the intellectual heirs of those primitives. You know, like King George.

He's not a Conservative. He's not the heir to Reagan...more like the heir to Woodrow Wilson. There nothing compassionate about his Stateism. He's the worst kind of nation-builder. And his Christianity is phony, just a prop for political gain.

It makes me wish that Karma was real. I'd love to see him get his just desserts.

Corruption! In Chicago!

In what surely has to qualify as a 'dog bites man' story, the Governor of Illinois has been arrested for, among other infractions, soliciting bribes from candidates for Barack Obama's old Senate seat.

Gov. Rod Blagojevich has been taken into federal custody, accused of putting Barack Obama's Senate seat up to the highest bidder and attempting to shake down the Tribune Co. on the sale of Wrigley Field.

The charges also include alleged attempts by the governor to influence the Tribune editorial board, threatening, that if the Tribune didn’t support him, he wouldn’t approve the sale of Wrigley Field.

The complaint contends Blagojevich, a Democrat, threatened to withhold substantial state assistance to the Tribune Co. in connection with the sale of Wrigley to induce the firing of Chicago Tribune editorial board members critical of Blagojevich.

The governor is also accused of obtaining campaign contributions in exchange for official actions — in the past and recently in a push before a new state ethics law takes effect Jan. 1.

I'm so very shocked that something like this could happen in Chicago. [/sarcasm]

Apparently, part of the Governor's shakedown even involved putting the screws to King-elect Obama.

In one charge related to the appointment of a senator to replace Barack Obama, prosecutors allege that Blagojevich sought appointment for himself as Secretary of Health and Human Services in the new Obama administration, or a lucrative job with a union, in exchange for appointing a union-preferred candidate.

Some things never change. Pigs will wallow in their sties. Vultures will lurk, snack on tasty carrion, and soak up as much schadenfreude as possible. And Chicago politicians will wallow in shady company while perfecting the art of corruption.

Surely this guy gets some consideration for Wiener of the Year, right?

---

Before anyone posts a comment calling me an asshat because "the capital of Illinois is Springfield, not Chicago, dumbass!", stop now. I am fully aware of that. The Chicago connection is still there for this Governor, whose corrupt style of operation dates back to his time as a local politician in the Second City. So there!

WotY nominees

Toes has nominees for Wiener of the Year, and they're good ones.

Weiner of the Year: Angie Voss - the CPS social worker supervisor who instigated the removal of over 400 children from the YFZ Ranch in Eldorado, TX, because it was a dangerous and scary environment for children.

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,695271299,00.html?pg=1

"It was a very scary environment — intimidating. I was afraid. I saw men all over. It felt like the schoolhouse was surrounded," she said, "It was a fearful kind of environment."

"I heard a report that a tank was coming on the property. Things were getting more scary to me. It was a situation of a very huge magnitude with so many law enforcement officers around," she testified. The case workers wanted to interview the children in an environment that didn't seem "so scary and dangerous."

And

http://conchovalleyhomepage.com/content/fulltext/?cid=6301

Angie Voss, CPS Supervisor, " A combination of things happened within the first two hours that caused me great concern for the children. I don't know how to describe it if you weren't there - the atmosphere and the feeling of it. It's not a place for children."

It seems unlikely that the ranch was a dangerous place for a child to live on March 28, 2008. It became a place of danger throughout the night of April 3 and ensuing days, with the appearance of untold numbers of armed Texas Rangers, an APC carrying a SWAT team with automatic weapons, SWAT snipers appointed at various places, and armed Sheriff's Deputies from at least 3 different counties entering homes, searching through personal possessions, and ordering children onto buses.

This Angie Voss is not to be confused with the good Dr. Angela Voss, Director of Kent University's Cultural Study of Cosmology and Divination Master's programme, http://www.kent.ac.uk/secl/thrs/postgraduate/cosmology/index.html

"Cosmology and Divination focuses on the modes of knowledge implicit in divinatory practices, in relation to the cosmological frameworks in which they arise."

Unless that's who the Texas Angie Voss thought she actually was, and was operating on cosmologically and divinely inspired knowledge as to which children would have abused 10 or 12 or 14 or 16 years from April 3, which women were teenagers or adults, and which women were pregnant or not.

You, of course, could expand the award to include Judge Barbara Walther, and the entire team of Texas CPS litigants and participants, with no argument from me.

My only other nominees would be Sen. Harry Reid, for just being who he is; and Sen. John McCain, for pretending to run for President.

Ta-ta

Toes

Thanks, Toes! Those are some great nominees.

Ms. Voss is a most worthy nominee. Were she not so perpetually frightened of congregated men and an environment she and her kind created with militarized representatives of Der Staat driving their tanks around frightening children (like her), the prolonged and wholly unnecessary FLDS crisis might never have developed into the gigantic MCF it ultimately became.

Judge Walther's role in said MCF is also worthy of WofY status. The woman is a disgrace. She acted in clear violation of the Constitution on numerous occasions throughout the fiasco. She ultimately got the slap down she deserved from the Texas Supreme Court, but who knows how far she would have gone were it not for the intervention by the Supremes.

Harry Reid is always a front-runner for WotY. If I gave out a prize for "best imitation of a human being by a reptile", he'd win for sure.

John McCain is looking like the frontrunner right now. I haven't made my decision yet, but you have to admit, his credentials are strong.

Keep those nominees coming, gang. There's certainly plenty of Wieners deserving WotY consideration.

Wiener of the Week

What a week it's been! I've been busier than a one-armed paper hanger. So much is going on, but I've had no time to blog! It sucks!

But there's never a shortage of wieners. And with this kind of material at hand, the WotW post practically writes itself.

A hooker and a Baptist minister having sex in a seedy motel room, where a camera was hidden in a clock radio. A videotape delivered to a radio talk show host by someone wearing oversized glasses, a fake beard and surgical gloves.

Even by the flamboyant corruption standards set by Atlantic City's government over the decades, this was one for the books.

Former City Council President Craig Callaway was sentenced Thursday to three years in prison for his role in setting up council rival Eugene Robinson with a prostitute in a motel room and secretly videotaping the encounter.

Wow! I can't even decide which one gets the prize - the minister for his complete lack of judgment, or the guy who pulled off the clownish sting operation. I'll do a Solomon and split this baby - they both are worthy.

Congratulations, gentlemen - you're Wieners of the Week!

Week 13 - East Coast success!

One week after being humiliated in Dallas, the Niners suddenly developed a defense! Or have the Bills simply cratered THAT much?

The Niners beat Buffalo 10-3 in a very, very strange game. The Bills' kicker missed two chip shot fields goals. Their star RB fumbled at inopportune times. Their backup QB (in because the starter pulled a hammy) threw a pick to end a 15-play drive that reached the 7 yard line.

The offense was pretty ugly. Frank Gore was held to 2.8 yards per carry. Shawn Hill threw for only 161 yards. But at least he takes care of the football - no turnovers!

You can really sense the Singletary effect in these Niners. They're a different team now. With any luck, we can win 2 of the final 4 games and at least be able to say that we improved from last year....

Wiener of the Month - November

It may seems like it happened months ago, but the elections of 2008 occurred a paltry 29 days ago. During November. And I'm naming a WofM. For November. So how much you wanna bet that the Wiener has something to do with the election?

This month's WotM is the Team Elephant elitist establishment. It's bad enough that they rammed an unpalatable candidate like John McCommie down our throats. But then, after throwing conservatives a bone by selecting Sarah Palin as VP on the ticket, they proceeded to trash the woman every bit as much as Big Media (the BM for short) did, and the BM was demonstrably in the tank for the opposing candidate!

The Team Elephant elitist establishment has mismanaged, misread, and bungled every opportunity to reach the American people. Just think -- in two short years Team Elephant has gone from holding the Presidency and both Houses of Congress to losing the Presidency, losing both Houses, and, if events play out right in Minnesota or Georgia, creating a Team Donkey-run filibuster-proof Senate.

You guys keep ramming "moderate" (read: socialist lite) candidates down our throats. Maybe then you'll be able to achieve what the Federalists, the Whigs, and the Bull Moose party achieved -- extinction.

Team Elephant establishment: you're the Wiener of the Month for November.

---

I'm currently accepting nominations for Wiener of the Year. I welcome all nominees.

Wiener of the Week

There's a special kind of Wiener, the kind that just positively can't see when it's time for them to ride off into the sunset because everyone has had their fill of that person's shtick. Ladies and ruffians, let me present exhibit A -- Rosie O'Donuts O'Donnell.

Rosie is back on TV. Yes kiddies, the original BFH (Big Fat HURTing) put on her own little variety show. She described it as being a throwback to the 70's variety shows, like Sonny and Cher, Donnie and Marie, and the Carol Burnett Show. *shudders*

One reviewer saw through her attempt at regaining her "nice" image: Alessandra Stanley of The New York Times called it a "hokey comedy with an enemy list".

Rosie O'Donnell's Wednesday night special on NBC, "Rosie Live," was supposed to be a tribute to the variety shows of the 1970s, but she added a Nixonian twist: Christmas songs, tap-dancing twins and an enemies list.

There isn't a more genuinely unlikable person on the planet than Rosie. Every time she opens that toxic waste dump of a mouth she alienates SOMEONE. Her blog is a cesspool of hate. But she wants everything to think of her as "nice".

For the crime of being a big fat (and I do mean FAT) phony, Rosie O'Donnell is the Wiener of the Week.