December Wiener of the Month

My inaugural Weiner of the Month is the 1972 Miami Dolphins for the total lack of grace they've shown toward the New England Patriots in their quest to join the Dolphins as the only team to "run the table" and win all of their games in a given season.

The '72 Dolphins act like their s*** doesn't stink. Yet, a quick review of that 72 season shows that in their 14 regular season games, they beat exactly two teams with a winning record: the Chiefs (8-6) and the Giants (8-6). They beat the Wild Card Browns, the upstart Steelers (a team that achieved its first winning season in - forever - that year), and the NFC Champion Redskins by a grand total of 17 points. Contrast that with a REAL champion - the '89 49ers - who beat their 3 playoff foes by 100 points!

The 2007 New England Patriots are vastly superior to the '72 Dolphins. Hell, the '85 Bears, '98 Broncos, '84, '89, and '94 49ers, and any Cowboys team of the early '90's are better. But the classless '72 Dolphins are still talking trash like they're "all that". For their total hubris, the '72 Dolphins are my Wiener of the Month.

Wiener of the Week

I'll blog later on my little trip to Florida, but right now I'm all about the Wieners. Today I'll name the Wiener of the Week. Tomorrow, the Wiener of the Month for December will be selected. And Tuesday - New Year's Day - the Wiener of the Year will be named. It's Wiener Time in Vulture Land.

The Wiener of the Week is Chris Jessie, the stepson of Texas coach Mack Brown. Jessie achieved his 15 minutes of infamy during the course of Texas' 52-34 victory over Arizona State University and its heinous coach, the loathsome drunk, Dennis Erickson, hated by 49ers fans the world over.

Arizona State quarterback Rudy Carpenter threw an errant backwards pass - clearly a fumble - in the direction of the Texas bench. Just before the ball reached the sideline, but while the ball was clearly still in play, Jessie reached out and narrowly brushed the ball...WHILE STANDING IN THE FIELD OF PLAY. The resulting penalty gave Arizona State second life and they promptly scored on the very next play.

While it can be argued that, because Texas ended up winning the game, Jessie should be cut some slack, the bottom line is this: ANYONE allowed on the sideline of a football game at ANY level MUST be aware of what's going on. For inserting himself into a Division 1-A football game at the worst possible moment, Chris Jessie is my Wiener of the Week.

One for the Road - Paglia Speaks

I'm going to be unable to post for the next few days, but I wanted to leave my many readers (HA HA HA HA HA HA HA) with one for the road.
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I know I have a reputation for being something of a wide-eyed ultra-right wing extremist. Yet, unlike many so designated, I have a very wide variety of authors whose commentary I sample on a regular basis. It never hurts to be informed on all sides of an issue, even when you're inevitably right, as I am.

Camille Paglia is a sometimes-darling, sometimes-devil to the ultra-left. She is a feminist in the original tradition of Feminism (i.e., we want rights, but men aren't the devil). She is the most level-headed liberal I've ever had the pleasure of reading. So, whether you can relate with her unique brand of Rational Liberalism, or are more aligned with my "Abide by the Constitution, you bastards!" mentality, you might want to give her a read.

Paglia recently opined on the subject of that blowhard charlatan, Al Gore, and his Nobel Peace Prize.

Al Gore got the Nobel Prize this week for his role as chief propagandist in spreading global warming hysteria into every nook and cranny of credulous minds. I expect that this baseless panic, like all fads, will evaporate when apocalypse doesn't arrive on schedule. Meanwhile let's focus on legitimate practical issues -- such as the grotesque volume of pollution belched by big-rig trucks, which in the absence of an efficient interstate rail system in the U.S. are absurdly carrying freight for thousands of miles from coast to coast. Exhaust from family SUVs is nothing compared to the environmental damage wrought by trucks, whose massive weight and deadline-driven high speeds also constitute an unacceptable risk to passenger vehicles on the highway.

Wow! A liberal who thinks for herself, and who thinks beyond talking points! If more liberals were like her, we might be able to get beyond the partisan stalemate in Washington.

And how do I feel about Mr. Gore and his Nobel? Al Gore is the Joseph Goebbels of the One-World Socialist Utopia Elitist Oligarchy that seeks to rule over us all. He is a master of The Big Lie. He's a disease, and his crusade to force those of us who aren't fortunate enough to be among The Elite to live lesser lives in order to "save the planet" from......well, from NOTHING......is among the cruelest of hoaxes ever perpetrated.

Wiener of the Week

Lord football, the National Football League, is this week's Wiener of the Week.

Why? Here's the problem. The Pro Bowl rosters have been named. There is an official, published list available through various sources. Because many of the players named to the Pro Bowl won't be able to participate for various reasons, there are a number of players designated as Alternates. If you watch tomorrow's games, you'll hear various references to "so-and-so is a second alternate for the Pro Bowl".

Okay...the announcers know who's an alternate - why don't we, the fan, know? WHY is there no official published list of the Pro Bowl alternates? ANYWHERE? Oh, sure, if you Google "Pro Bowl Alternates", you'll be able to eventually track down, from team websites and radio station web sites, the Alternates from a given team or two. But you'll never be able to get the complete list. Why is the list of Pro Bowl alternates such a highly guarded secret?

C'mon, NFL! We, your fans, whose dollars have enriched you and given you your popularity and power, deserve to know who the Alternates are! NFL - you are the Wiener of the Week.

Dominionism Is Evil

I must not be as plugged-in as I thought I was. I had never heard of Dominionism. Now that I have, I hate it, and will do everything in my power to forestall it.

Dominionism describes, in several distinct ways, a tendency among some conservative politically-active Christians to seek influence or control over secular civil government through political action — aiming either at a nation governed by Christians or a nation governed by a conservative Christian understanding of biblical law.

NO! Have you assclowns forgotten the words of the Savior - "My Kingdom is not of this world"? Our energies should be poured into ministering to the sick and the needy, not toward promoting and influencing the corrupt and venal Republican party. If you belong to a church that supports Dominionism in any way, RUN, don't walk, to the nearest exit and find yourself a church that has it together in terms of their priorities.

200 Days Until 50

OMG! According to my desktop widget, I'm exactly 200 days from my 50th birthday. Hopefully I won't be as freaked out at 50 like I was at 40 - hah! It seems so funny now to think I was freaked out about turning 40. 40 seems so young now...

Here's hoping that I can milk as much enjoyment out of the last 200 days of my 40's as possible.

Sports + PC = Snivelling Crap

The Baltimore Sun is a dreadful excuse for a newspaper. But its sports page is usually fairly decent. Until this dripping pile of PC BS. Sportswriter Rick Maese should be flogged.

In death, Taylor quickly became a symbol. From Miami to D.C. to violence-ravaged communities such as Baltimore, his death has forced us to admit that while the violent death of a pro football player is certainly unusual, there are many Sean Taylors - though we normally prefer to ignore their stories.

Last year, there were 275 homicides in Baltimore, and more than 92 percent of the victims were black. (In 2005, there were 269 homicide victims, and 88 percent were black. And this year, though figures aren't yet complete, 90 percent of the city's 268 homicide victims are known to be black.)

Taylor's death, like so many others, is an extension of a genocide that includes nameless victims, faceless assailants and blameless conspirators.

And just who exactly are those conspirators? On one end, we have people who refuse to acknowledge that race is even worth discussing in deaths such as Taylor's; on the other, we have those who shrug their shoulders, look at the crime statistics and decide that it's not their backyard - or worse, doesn't include their race - and, therefore, it's not their problem.

To far too many, hearing phrases such as "black-on-black crime" is like an assignment of responsibility, a presumption that the epidemic is confined to a single race - and so the solution should be, too.

But it doesn't work that way.

"You can't just move out to a certain county, a certain suburb and the crime in Baltimore all of a sudden disappears," says Marvin L. "Doc" Cheatham, head of the Baltimore branch of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. "I keep telling people if you don't get involved, it's going to keep growing and it's going to knock on your door someday. Why would you want to wait until then to do something? Let's get involved now and find a solution."

What a load of steaming excrement! First, the problem IS black-on-black crime. All of the statistics support it. This kind of violence happens because of the toxic culture that exists in our inner cities and is, unfortunately, celebrated by many blacks, many white teens, and most asshat Hollywood types, who glorify it by producing hip-hop "music", videos, and even movies.

This kind of violence will continue in perpetuity until American society stops celebrating and starts condemning the toxic ghetto culture.

Wiener of the Week

This week the wiener of the week is Mike Huckabee. Stupid Huckabee just couldn't leave well-enough alone. Mitt Romney had succeeded with his speach last week in stirring up all of the necessary doubts about his religion - but Huckabee just HAD to put his ignorant two cents in.

I asked Huckabee, who describes himself as the only Republican candidate with a degree in theology, if he considered Mormonism a cult or a religion. ‘‘I think it’s a religion,’’ he said. ‘‘I really don’t know much about it.’’

I was about to jot down this piece of boilerplate when Huckabee surprised me with a question of his own: ‘‘Don’t Mormons,’’ he asked in an innocent voice, ‘‘believe that Jesus and the devil are brothers?’’

Now, understand that I'm no Huckabee fan - I'm a Ron Paul guy. But talk about taking gold and turning it into mierda. For abject stupidity in the face of a gift horse, Mike Huckabee is my wiener of the week.

Fred hits it on the head

Fred Reed is a curmudgeonly sort of fellow. He used to be a reporter for various newspapers and magazines. Lately he sort of amuses himself by writing books and blogging while living an idyllic life in Mexico.

His latest blog entry touched on a topic that has been of concern to me for some time - violence perpetrated by Minority racists.

The attack was not just a crime, but a particular type of crime. In Mexico, where I live, there is crime, but it is usually economic. If I walked in a bad part of Guadalajara by night with a Rolex on my arm, an enterprising gangster might well demand it at knifepoint. If I peaceably gave him the Rolex, he would likely just leave with it. It’s about money. Yes, crimes of passion occur when men got boozed up and fight over women or which football team is best. These are easily avoided.

But when a group of very young blacks, unprovoked, attack a defenseless white women, with the intention of badly hurting her, break her bones, and then try to drag her off the bus, we see a different sort of crime. The only motive is racial hatred.

The myth that only white people can be racist has got to stop. Racism is rampant in the country in a way it hasn't been seen since perhaps the 1930's - but this time around, it isn't whitey driving the hate wagon. And, lest you think this is some random incident, check out this, this, and this.

This wave of violent attacks can, of course, be chalked up to Political Correctness. No one is allowed to actually think, let alone accuse, young black and Hispanic men of racism. To do so is to be branded a racist oneself. But I guarantee that if PC attitudes aren't overcome, there'll be many more attacks like these.

Weiner of the Week

Who else? Mitt Romney.

Mitt had quite a week. Considering he was the subject of both of my posts for the past 8 days, there really wasn't anyone else in contention.

Mitt is dropping like a rock in Iowa, the one state of the early voters that he MUST win. And why? Because of his enormous flip-flop on his religion. First he was a member of a "mainstream, Christian faith". Now he's set himself up as the face of religious tolerance because his religion isn't mainstream.

Considering his history of flip-flops (first pro-life, then pro-abortion rights, the pro-life again), he shoulda just kept his big yap shut. Mitt Romney...you're my Weiner of the Week.

Shoulda left well enough alone

Romney Speaks

Mitt Romney tried to gain momentum in the tightening Republican presidential race Thursday by giving a high-profile speech that aimed to allay concerns about his Mormonism by stressing the importance of religious faith in America.

“I believe in my Mormon faith, and I endeavor to live by it,” the Republican said at the presidential library of George H.W. Bush in College Station, Tex. “Some believe that such a confession of my faith will sink my candidacy. If they’re right, so be it.”

Uh-huh.

Be careful what you wish for, Mitt. You just might get it.

Gary Glenn, American Family Association of Michigan

...the contents of the speech were unobjectionable, but...Romney’s sincerity on key issues critical to religious conservatives was suspect. Romney’s comment that American’s don’t “respect believers of convenience” was a self-indictment since he supported abortion rights and claimed to be a social moderate when running for office in Massachusetts.

Lee Harris, TCS Daily

Romney's best approach might have been to say nothing at all. Certainly that would have been preferable to trying to turn his candidacy into an issue of religious tolerance.

I could have told you to punt this one, Mitt. It was a no-win.

Romney tells a fib

You'll never hear me utter a kind word about the Mormon church. I have my reasons - I may get around to explaining them in some future post. But in spite of my feelings about his church, I was willing to give Mitt Romney a listen, even though I was aware of his rather liberal-leaning record in Massachusetts and his flip-flop on abortion. Now I see him for the liar he really is.

Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney said yesterday that he hopes to convince voters that his Mormon faith is mainstream.

"I think as people come to know my faith they'll recognize that the values of my faith are — they very much flow from the Judeo-Christian tradition of this country.

What a load of BS! Sorry, Mr. Romney, but according to your Church's own scriptures, you are anything BUT a "traditional" Judeo-Christian faith.

18 My object in going to inquire of the Lord was to know which of all the sects was right, that I might know which to join. No sooner, therefore, did I get possession of myself, so as to be able to speak, than I asked the Personages who stood above me in the light, which of all the sects was right (for at this time it had never entered into my heart that all were wrong)—and which I should join.

19 I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong; and the Personage who addressed me said that all their creeds were an abomination in his sight; that those professors were all corrupt; that: “they draw near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me, they teach for doctrines the commandments of men, having a form of godliness, but they deny the power thereof.”

20 He again forbade me to join with any of them...

Pearl of Great Price, Joseph Smith-History, Chapter 1:18-20

The various Christian faiths are "an abomination" in God's sight - this is Mormon doctrine and has been part of Mormon doctrine since the church was founded. In fact, the temple ceremony, up until 1990, portrayed a Protestant minister as a money-grubbing tool of Satan.

For Romney to disingenuously try to link his church to mainstream Christianity shows either a complete lack of understanding of his church's doctrines or a complete disregard for the truth. Given Church President Gordon Hinkley's own history of prevarication, I suppose Romney's fraudulent claim that his church is in the mold of traditional Christianity is just another example of the Mormon church's tradition of saying anything at all to get over and dupe people.

Weiner of the Week

I plan on doing a regular feature - awarding a 'Weiner of the Week', 'Weiner of the Month', and, of course 'Weiner of the Year'.

The inaugural 'Weiner of the Week' is Pat Robertson. Once upon a time, Robertson was a relevant force in the politicization of conservative Christians, along with Jerry Falwell. I never could tolerate either of them: they didn't speak for me (or my kind), and they did more in the past 25 years to harm Christianity in terms of societal impact than any coven of atheist asshats could have ever done.

But now Robertson has finally, irrevocably, destroyed his credibility by endorsing Rudy Guiliani for President. Thank God!

Rudy Guiliani is the antithesis of the kind of candidate acceptable to either conservatives or Christians. He's a big-spending liberal in terms of ideology. He is pro-abortion, pro-gay marriage, pro-"sanctuary". WTF, Pat? Sell out much?

For selling out to the "establishment" Republican candidate instead of showing some real integrity, Pat Robertson is my 'Weiner of the Week'.