Monday, February 9, 2009

The wisdom of the common man

I have XM Radio in my car. If I didn't, I think I would blow my brains out. It's the only thing that makes my hellish commute bearable.

One of the advantages of XM Radio is being able to hear uncensored content. No FCC (don't bother to ask me what the 'F' stands won't like the answer). And because I like to listen to the comedy stations on the way home from work, I stumbled upon an amazing new talk show starring Mojo Nixon. I'd tell you the name of it...but it contains a really offensive pejorative that, while an appropriate description of what/who politicians are, isn't acceptable for a "family" blog like mine.

The other day the topic was the stimulus package which, at that time, was rumored to be approaching more than $1.5 trillion dollars. There was a variety of opinions expressed - mostly references to where Washington could stick their "stimulus".

But one caller demonstrated the genius of the common man. His proposal: rather than spend all of those trillions of dollars on crap that just makes government bigger and more powerful, why not just send $1 million dollars to every American household, with this caveat on how the money must be spent:

  1. Pay off your mortgage
  2. Pay off all of your bills
  3. If any money is left over, invest it in the stock market
Right there on the spot I shouted the word, "Brilliant!" You know, just like the guys in the Guinness ad. Why is this brilliant? Think about it! For about $200 billion less than the rumored price tag of stimulus at that time, we'd solve the whole crisis. No more bad mortgages. No more bankruptcies. A jolt of investment capital into the stock market, creating a bull market unlike any other. Without any bills to pay, people would start spending money on all of the things they've been leery about buying in a down economy, giving business a spur and creating new jobs. Within 6 months, everything would be just ducky.

Which is why it'll never happen.

Government only likes solutions that (1) perpetuate problems, not solve them, and (2) that empower government. Which, now that I think of it, is exactly what the phony "stimulus" package the Senate is considering now is.