Monday, June 29, 2009

Lurch attempts humor; hilarity ensues

Everyone knows someone who just doesn't have a sense of humor. That's not to say that they don't laugh at jokes, or participate in banter. It's that they are genetically incapable of saying anything funny. Ever. Their every attempt at humor is clumsy, fumbling, and ends with either a thud or in offending someone.

John "Lurch" Kerry is one such individual. Every attempt at humor he has made in his entire life has landed with a thud. This one was no different.

Sen. John Kerry added to his long list of lame joke attempts yesterday when he wished South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford's disappearance on Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin.

Speaking to some business and civic leaders he had invited to Washington, Kerry quipped: "Too bad if a governor had to go missing it couldn’t have been the governor of Alaska. You know, Sarah Palin."
Ponderous. F-ing ponderous.

To her credit, Sarah Palin was much funnier in response.
Today, while speaking to Alaska National Guard troops in Kosovo, Palin joked that she actually felt bad for Kerry as she watched his attempt at humor.

"Then Senator John Kerry makes this joke � I don't know if you saw this, but he makes this joke saying, 'Aw shoot, of all the governors in the nation who disappeared, too bad it couldn't have been that governor from Alaska . . .'"

"But the way he said it, he looked quite frustrated and he looked so sad. I just wanted to reach out to the TV and say, 'John Kerry, why the long face?'"
Ha! Long face! Now, THAT'S funny.

Someone needs to take Lurch aside and gently tell him that he's about as funny as cancer, and he needs to stop trying to make jokes. Because, with his every attempt, he shows what a joke he himself is.