Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Wiener of the Month - June

Well, it's finally official - GM has filed for Chapter 11 protection. So you think that they're the WotM, right? Wrong!

Trust me, I'm not about to defend the mindless way the scavengers at the top of the corporate ladder ran the company into the ground. But they had help. LOTS of help. In no particular order, these are the contributors to GM's passage from Corporate Titan to fully-owned subsidiary of the United States of America.

  1. Labor Unions. It's not bad enough that unions destroyed the US steel industry. No, they won't be satisfied until every manufacturing job in the nation is priced so high that the corporations have no alternatives; it's either go offshore, go to Uncle for bailout cash, or go under.
  2. Earth worshipers. It just wasn't enough for these assclowns for the Big 3 to build automobiles with low exhaust emissions and gas mileage numbers that dwarf the best numbers from the 1970's. No, the Gaia crowd kept crying for more, more, more. These people will never be satisfied. Even if the only thing coming out of tail pipes were water, they would bitch because the water wasn't clean enough.
  3. Activists. Ralph Nader alone brought about a number of expense-adding regulations -- granted, some very import, live-saving ones, to be sure. But the cost of satisfying all of those regulations also contributed to the Big 3's inability to compete with imports, whose labor cost per vehicle is so much lower than Detroit's. And yet, Mr. Nader had the quiñones to write this drivel chastising GM! A bowling alley doesn't have the balls this man has!
  4. The media. Can you remember the last time you read ANYTHING positive about any of the Big 3? I'm guessing it was the mid 80's the last time I did. And let's not forget that fat ass oxygen parasite Michael Moore and all of the negative press he brought to GM.
  5. The government. Politicians chasing the Union and tree-hugger vote bent over backwards to saddle the automobile industry with one regulation after another. And now, Obama owns the company. Thanks, Il Duce!
As a result of all of this "cooperation", the Wiener of the Month for June is shared among GM and the 5 major contributors to its fall from grace.

Congratulations, Wieners. You all suck!