Attention sychophants! Here are your instructions.

We are fast approaching the 100 days milestone of the presidency of His Royal Highness, King Barack Obey-me, Lord and Savior of Big Media (the BM for short). The administration is gearing up for the "event".

April 29 will be the 100th day of Barack Obama’s presidency.

The “100 days” concept has had mythical status since the days of the New Deal, when Franklin D. Roosevelt made history with a blizzard of bold federal actions. And reporters have been addicted to stories around this milestone in every administration since.

White House senior adviser David Axelrod calls the 100th day a “Hallmark holiday,” an essentially artificial event with no genuine significance. But he and his colleagues also know the reality: The early-verdict stories are going to be written, creating both a challenge and opportunity for the new president.

So senior White House aides are playing the game with relish, doling out made-to-order anecdotes and what-it-means analytical insights to help reporters write their 100 days pieces. You can already see the results in a spate of stories that — thanks to competitive pressures — editors are deciding to publish before the actual 100th day.

[...]

Here are seven things the White House wants reporters to write:

Wha-wha-WHAT?!?!?! Here are seven things the White House wants reporters to write?!?!? Did I read that correctly?

I mean, c'mon! I know the BM worships the carbon dioxide this guy exhales, but to actually put forward talking points to the media telling them what to write?!?!? Now THAT's some chutzpah! A real media, neutral and suspicious of those in power, would be SCREAMING about an administration that TELLS them what to write. So why do I hear nothing but the sounds of crickets chirping?

I know you're curious about the 7 things His Royal Holiness wants the media to say about him. They are:

• Obama is a promise-keeper.
• Obama is a game-changer.
• Obama is the decider.
• Obama’s not in the bubble.
• Obama is not FDR.
• Obama is FDR.
• Obama is one cool cucumber.
  

Read the Politico story I provided a link to above to see what each of those bullet points is meant to portray. There actually isn't a contradiction between the 4th and 5th items, believe it or not.

Truthfully, Obey-me needn't have bothered with the talking points. The BM does a plenty good job of serving as the administration's cheerleaders on their own.