Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Apocalypse is upon us

Be afraid. Be VERY afraid.

If this isn't one of the signs of the apocalypse, I don't know what is. Mariah Carey's next #1 hit single will tie her with the Beatles for #1 all time. GAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

Move over, Beatles. Mariah Carey is on the verge of tying the legendary British band for having the most chart-topping hits.

The hip-hop diva's newest single "Touch My Body" is poised to give her 18 No. 1 singles, knotting her with the Fab Four.

The song is the lead track on her latest album "E=MC2," due to hit stores later this month.

The 37-year-old songstress is currently tied with Elvis Presley for second place for top singles.
Man, if this doesn't speak to the diminished intelligence of the American people, I don't know what does.

Here's the thing: I could think of about a dozen Beatles songs that might have been #1 hits, right off the top of my noggin. I couldn't name a single Mariah Carey song if you put a gun to my head. *Vulture shakes head sadly*