Soliciting nominees for Wiener of the Year

In two short weeks I will be naming the Wiener of the Year. As such, I am soliciting nominees for the "honor" from readers.

Among this year's candidates are Il Duce, Big Media (the BM for short), Congress, the TSSA*, the inaptly named "justice" system, the Occupy movement, Team Elephant, plus a mystery nominee I'm keeping to myself.

Feel free to add your nominees via the comments link, or email me.


* You can't abbreviate Schutzstaffel without the double 'S'.

New Tizona Post

New Tizona post - Will TSSA parody become illegal?

Let the punishment fit the crime

There are numerous - far too numerous - cases where the punishment flat out doesn't fit the crime. Murderers who get 8 years. The guy who sells a bag of weed with just over an ounce in it gets 15 years.

But this is clearly a case where the proposed punishment is more than appropriate.

Lawmakers and residents engaged in heated debate Tuesday over a bill that would make random airport security pat-downs and body scans criminal in New Hampshire.

The bill (HB628-FN) "makes the touching or viewing with a technological device of a person’s breasts or genitals by a government security agent without probable cause a sexual assault," according to the introductory text of the bill.

"Let's put their name on the sex offender registry, and maybe that will tell them New Hampshire means business," said bill co-sponsor Rep. Andrew Manuse, R-Derry.

"That is a crime in this state, and we should charge them every single time," said bill co-sponsor Rep. George Lambert, R-Litchfield.

Yes! Let's brand those TSSA* perverts with the scarlet 'S' for 'sex offender'! Let's make sure that those trolls understand that "No means no"!


* You can't abbreviate Schutzstaffel without the double 'S'

Justifiable discrimination

Anyone who has read this blog more than about 5 times knows that schadenfreude is one of my favorite things. Forget raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. I want to see despicable people suffer!

And speaking of despicable people, who among us wouldn't include the TSSA* in that category.

A Seattle area restaurant certainly does.

Fed up with what he views as crappy treatment from the TSA, the owner of a restaurant near Seattle-Tacoma International Airport has decided to put all TSA agents on his No-Eat List.

"We have posted signs on our doors basically saying that they aren't allowed to come into our business," one employee tells travel journalist Christopher Elliott. "We have the right to refuse service to anyone."

She says that whenever a TSA agent attempts to dine at the restaurant, "we turn our backs and completely ignore them, and tell them to leave... Their kind aren't welcomed in our establishment."

The restaurant claims that 90% of its patrons are in agreement with their stance and that the local police have actually helped escort TSA workers off the premises.

"Until TSA agents start treating us with the respect and dignity that we deserve, then things will change for them in the private sector," says the employee.

Is that awesome, or what? "Their kind aren't welcomed in our establishment."

Let's hope more businesses pick up on this and start to do likewise. There's no one more deserving than the TSSA's goon squad. No one.

* You can't abbreviate Schutzstaffel without the double 'S'

The TSSA wants its monopoly back

In the wake of all of the hubbub regarding the TSSA*'s "gate rape" pat downs, a number of airports invoked a little-known provision in the enabling legislation that created the TSSA which allows for individual airports to "opt out" of having their security provided exclusively by the TSSA. Apparently, there were so many airports opting out that TSSA had to put the brakes on.

A program that allows airports to replace government screeners with private screeners is being brought to a standstill, just a month after the Transportation Security Administration said it was "neutral" on the program.

TSA chief John Pistole said Friday he has decided not to expand the program beyond the current 16 airports, saying he does not see any advantage to it.
[...]
But on Friday, the TSA denied an application by Springfield-Branson Airport in Missouri to privatize its checkpoint workforce, and in a statement, Pistole indicated other applications likewise will be denied.

The government HATES to cede its authority over anything to anybody. I believe that the original "permission" to the 16 airports was a diversion to take some of the heat off of the TSSA for the "grope down" tactics it was forcing on the public. There was never any intent to honor the opt-out provision. There was only the intent to divert our focus away from their abuses.

On the subject of the TSSA, a reader named Lauren sent me a link to this info-graphic. It is a highly informative look into how airline security progressed over time to the totalitarian nightmare we endure now. I highly recommend it to all

*You can't abbreviate Schutzstaffel without the double 'S'

Two-bit terrorism in the PRM

Terrorism has hit in the Great State People's Republic of Maryland!  Call the National Guard!  Call DHSS*!  Call Janet Napolitano!

Terrorism in the PRM?  Uh, yeah....about that...

State and federal officials are investigating small incendiary devices that "flared up" at the Maryland Department of Transportation's headquarters in Hanover and a state government building in Annapolis on Thursday.

What do you mean "small incendiary devices"?  Who's behind it?  What kind of damage did the devices cause?  The answers:

A disgruntled "lone wolf" is believed to be behind incendiary devices sent to Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley and Transportation Secretary Beverley Swaim-Staley, investigators believe.

The two devices burned the fingers of two employees when they were opened in Annapolis and Hanover 15 minutes apart Thursday.
[...]
When the worker opened the package that had five holiday postage stamps on it, it produced a "puff of smoke and a sulphur-type smell, like if you would strike a match."

That's it?  A stink bomb that resulted in some burned fingers?  C'mon, are you kidding me?  I've had camping trips that resulted in more carnage than that!

Yes, one of the packages was address to Governor Martin O' Owe-Malley...hey, how 'bout that [/sarcasm].  Old Marty was unharmed by the "attack".  He can go on taxing and spending with impunity.

Of course, you just KNOW that law enforcement and the DHSS are going to WAAAAAAY overreact to this little prank.  Are we going to be subjected to TSSA* groping when we go to the post office?

Kinda adds new meaning to the phrase, "Let me inspect that package, sir!"

* You can't abbreviate Schutzstaffel without the double 'S'

Piling on: more TSSA abuse

TSSA (you can't spell Schutzstaffel without the double S) is the hot topic these days, crowding out the G20 Summit, the ConAgra/Archer Daniels Midland/Big Agra food industry takeover bill, and, well, everything else. And why not?  After all, they make it so easy!

The latest is this tale of humiliation.

A retired special education teacher on his way to a wedding in Orlando, Fla., said he was left humiliated, crying and covered with his own urine after an enhanced pat-down by TSA officers recently at Detroit Metropolitan Airport.

“I was absolutely humiliated, I couldn’t even speak,” said Thomas D. “Tom” Sawyer, 61, of Lansing, Mich.

Sawyer is a bladder cancer survivor who now wears a urostomy bag, which collects his urine from a stoma, or opening in his stomach. “I have to wear special clothes and in order to mount the bag I have to seal a wafer to my stomach and then attach the bag. If the seal is broken, urine can leak all over my body and clothes.”

Long story short...

I tried to warn him that he would hit the bag and break the seal on my bag, but he ignored me. Sure enough, the seal was broken and urine started dribbling down my shirt and my leg and into my pants.”

The security officer finished the pat-down, tested the gloves for any trace of explosives and then, Sawyer said, “He told me I could go. They never apologized. They never offered to help. They acted like they hadn’t seen what happened. But I know they saw it because I had a wet mark.”

Humiliated, upset and wet, Sawyer said he had to walk through the airport soaked in urine, board his plane and wait until after takeoff before he could clean up.

Ah, but don't worry, Mr. Sawyer.  Il Duce feels your pain.

President Obama said today he sympathizes with passenger complaints about aggressive body pat-downs at airports, but his counter-terrorism aides say they are necessary to guard against hidden explosives.

Balancing privacy and security is a "tough situation," Obama told reporters at a news conference following the NATO summit in Lisbon, Portugal.

"One of the most frustrating aspects of this fight against terrorism is that it has created a whole security apparatus around us that causes a huge inconvenience for all of us," Obama said.

Uh, no, Mr. President. It is NOT a huge inconvenience for ALL of us.  You traipse all over the world in the opulence that is Air Force One.  And even those members of Congress who make a big show of flying commercial (hey, how 'bout that? [/sarcasm]) manage to skip the humiliation reserved for the rest of us (hat tip: Ye Olde Journalist).

No airport pat-down for the incoming House speaker.

On Friday, the GOP's John Boehner was guided past the metal detectors and hand inspections given to other passengers on his flight home to Ohio.

Boehner's spokesman Michael Steel said his boss followed procedures set by Capitol Police and the Transportation Security Administration. Steel said the same rules apply to other congressional leaders.

Yeah. The same rules apply to other congressional leaders. Because, after all, only we mundanes should be humiliated, NOT the elites who rule us.

Toes forwarded a proposed solution to the TSSA madness. I think it's a huge improvement over the current MCF.

Solution to issue of full-body scanners at airports: A booth you step into that will detonate any explosive device you may have hidden on or in your body. The explosion is contained within the booth. Win-Win? No profiling and will eliminate long and expensive trials. Hmmmm: In the airport you hear a muffled explosion. Later an announcement, "Attention, standby passengers! Seats now available on flight number...

Priceless.

More TSSA fun and games

Last evening Toes alerted me to this amusing post by IowaHawk.  I liked it.  I've never followed IowaHawk, but I'm starting to think I should.  After all, a guy who suspends himself from his own blog has definite potential.

Seems all of the blogosphere opiners is taking their best shots at the TSSA (you can't spell Schutzstaffel without the double S) -- and why not?  The bastards just keep on giving us ammunition.  You thought that getting groped through your clothing was bad?  That ain't NOTHING!

The TSA’s invasive new screening measures include officers literally putting their hands down people’s pants if they are wearing baggy clothing in a shocking new elevation of groping procedures that have stoked a nationwide revolt against privacy-busting airport security measures.

Forget John Tyner’s “don’t touch my junk” experience at the hands of TSA goons in San Diego recently, another victim of Big Sis was told by TSA officials that it was now policy to go even further when dealing with people wearing loose pants or shorts.

This is sick. Read on, if you can.

Stone [noted] how the TSA thug directly patted down his testicles, penis and backside while his hand was inside Stone’s pants. Stone was initially embarrassed to reveal the full scope of the groping but related the details of what amounted to nothing less than outright sexual molestation.

A 54-year-old Missouri City man experienced similar treatment when he was going through security at Fort Lauderdale Airport.

Thomas Mollman was subject to a groping by a TSA officer that was tantamount to sexual molestation.

“I was wearing shorts at the time – between the underwear, right on the skin, all the way around the back, all the way around my front, 360 degrees, touched inappropriately,” he said.

“This was an assault. This was no different than a sexual assault,” said KTRK Legal Analyst Joel Androphy.

You got that right, Joel!

You would think that the TSSA goon squad would at least KISS you first before they go to third base with you.

Vulture Droppings: "Check your bag, sir?"

Vulture Droppings is a semi-regular feature of this blog. It's a kind of "Random Thoughts" post in which I try to quickly summarize a particularly large event or series of events. Think of it being sort of like what a vulture leaves behind after devouring a horse. You don't get the whole horse, just highly processed leftovers.

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Not content to merely annoy and harass, the TSSA (you can't spell Schutzstaffel without the double S) has moved on to actual assault.  Their new policy - submit to the nudie ray or get groped - has a lot of people in high dudgeon.

The Germans staged an innovative protest of the scanners -- you wanna see me naked?  I'll come to the airport naked!

Vox Day has opined.  So have Will Grigg and Ye Olde Journalist.

Now it's my turn.  This edition of Vulture Droppings is brought to you by the letter "G", as in "grope"

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"What's the big deal?", I hear some so-called "conservatives" ask.  We NEED the government to keep us safe in the airports.  Even if that WERE true (I believe wholeheartedly that it isn't), how is groping 13-year-old girls for sport keeping us safe?  Yeah, you read that right - only children over the age of 12 get groped. Bet that makes all of you fathers with hot 15-year-old daughters happy.

"You don't HAVE to get groped!  You can go through the scanner, you know!"  Yeah.  Not any better.  The scanner shows everything God gave you in graphic detail.  Think I'm kidding?  Check this out - not only can you see dude's junk, you can tell that he's not circumcised.  Again, the question to all of you fathers with hot 15-year-old daughters -- you want your little girl leered at by Tommy TSSA like she's some sort of common whore just because she's flying to see grandma?

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"But the pictures are purged after they've been viewed! The embarrassment is only temporary!"  No, no they're not - at least not all of them.  Body scan pictures are starting to crop up in various places; one courthouse in Florida (figures!) has over 35,000 saved images!  Now, fathers, ask yourself this: how would you feel about scanned images of your hot 15-year-old daughter showing up on the internet?  Are you STILL a supporter of the scanners?  I can't see how.

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TSSA, naturally, stands by the scanners and their new grope-down procedures.  They deny that any groping is going on, notwithstanding the growing number of complaints from the molested (see here, here, and here also).  Nor are they too happy with those who protest against being scanned or groped - this guy faces possible criminal charges.

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The issue is apparent. So is the solution, IMO. Abolish the TSSA. Let the airlines handle their own security. You may not feel safer, but you'll feel less violated.  And you'll get back the freedom you once had to enter an airport without being molested.

Of course, if you like that sort of thing....in which case, I say - TO THE AIRPORT WITH YOU!

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TSA - the "gift" that keeps on giving

It seems that the Transportation Security Administration (TSSA - because you can't spell Schutzstaffel without the second S) just can't stay out of trouble. I expect that they'll be providing me with blog post material for the foreseeable future.

Their latest "accomplishment"? It's a beauty.

Did you hear about the Camden cop whose disabled son wasn't allowed to pass through airport security unless he took off his leg braces?

Unfortunately, it's no joke. This happened to Bob Thomas, a 53-year-old officer in Camden's emergency crime suppression team, who was flying to Orlando in March with his wife, Leona, and their son, Ryan.

Ryan was taking his first flight, to Walt Disney World, for his fourth birthday.

The boy is developmentally delayed, one of the effects of being born 16 weeks prematurely. His ankles are malformed and his legs have low muscle tone. In March he was just starting to walk.

Mid-morning on March 19, his parents wheeled his stroller to the TSA security point, a couple of hours before their Southwest Airlines flight was to depart.

The boy's father broke down the stroller and put it on the conveyor belt as Leona Thomas walked Ryan through the metal detector.

The alarm went off.

The screener told them to take off the boy's braces.

The Thomases were dumbfounded. "I told them he can't walk without them on his own," Bob Thomas said.

"He said, 'He'll need to take them off.' "

Ryan's mother offered to walk him through the detector after they removed the braces, which are custom-made of metal and hardened plastic.

No, the screener replied. The boy had to walk on his own.

But surely the screener's supervisor would handle the situation properly - surely they would see the ludicrous pointlessness of what the screener was asking, right? Uh....no.

By then, Bob Thomas was furious. He demanded to see a supervisor. The supervisor asked what was wrong.

"I told him, 'This is overkill. He's 4 years old. I don't think he's a terrorist.' "

The supervisor replied, "You know why we're doing this," Thomas said.

Thomas said he told the supervisor he was going to file a report, and at that point the man turned and walked away.

"You know why we're doing this." Because you're imbecilic tools? Because there are thousands of developmentally-challenged 4-year-olds just DYING to blow up a plane for Allah? Because it gives you totalitarian wood?

Face it, there was no good reason to require the child to remove his braces. TSSA even admitted it after the fact. Of course, TSSA never admits to ANYTHING until the press gets involved. Your feeble little complaint at the time of the violation of your person or dignity? They couldn't possibly care less.

Keep flying, sheeple. Keep submitting to the degradation.

May your chains rest lightly upon you.

More TSSA unnessary roughness

The Transportation Safety Administration -- TSSA, because you can't spell Schutzstaffel without the double S -- pops up in the news quite regularly due to its penchant for running roughshod over the citizenry it is ostensibly charged with protecting.

Their most recent "achievement" was to scare a 22-year-old coed half to death by planting contraband in her bag as a "training exercise". Apparently, the TSSA tool in question thought it was funny. Funny. Right.

Now they're at it again, and, once more, the site of the affront is Philadelphia.

The businesswoman spent a night in the lockup at 55th and Pine after Transportation Security Administration agents said she assaulted them during a screening at the airport.

Uh huh. A tiny 57-year-old woman assaulted two TSSA thugs. Sure.

Look, I'll be the first to say that Ms. Pellegrino doesn't come across as the most sympathetic of victims in this case. Her over-the-top germaphobic QQ'ing and whiny tone defy sympathy. But the tapes of the incident have been disposed of by the TSSA because, "...most of the incident took place outside the cameras' view, either in the private screening room or at the doorway".

Uh huh.

If you think for one second that the tapes would have been disposed of if there was ANY corroborating evidence to support the TSSA gorillas' claim of assault on them then you're either a TSSA employee or a moron. The tapes were disposed of because they would either vindicate Ms. Pellegrino or, at minimum, introduce some doubt as to whether the TSSA actions were justified.

The fact is that TSSA thugs treat ANY failure to passively submit to their every command as an assault. And that isn't about to change anytime soon until the American people wise up and let their elected officials know that they're not going to put up with it any more.

Which, knowing the lack of spine and intelligence of the vast majority of Americans, leads me to believe that we will never be free of the excesses of the TSSA.

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How have the interwebs changed the world? I was alerted to this story by an Aussie living in South Korea. Is that awesome, or what? Hat tip t'ya, Bingbing.

TSA - the 'A' stands for ?

Apparently, at least in this case, it stands for "A-hole".

In the tense new world of air travel, we're stripped of shoes, told not to take too much shampoo on board, frowned on if we crack a smile.

The last thing we expect is a joke from a Transportation Security Administration screener - particularly one this stupid.

Rebecca Solomon is 22 and a student at the University of Michigan, and on Jan. 5 she was flying back to school after holiday break. She made sure she arrived at Philadelphia International Airport 90 minutes before takeoff, given the new regulations.

She would be flying into Detroit on Northwest Airlines, the same city and carrier involved in the attempted bombing on Christmas, just 10 days before. She was tense.

What happened to her lasted only 20 seconds, but she says they were the longest 20 seconds of her life.

After pulling her laptop out of her carry-on bag, sliding the items through the scanning machines, and walking through a detector, she went to collect her things.

A TSA worker was staring at her. He motioned her toward him.

Then he pulled a small, clear plastic bag from her carry-on - the sort of baggie that a pair of earrings might come in. Inside the bag was fine, white powder.

She remembers his words: "Where did you get it?"

Two thoughts came to her in a jumble: A terrorist was using her to sneak bomb-detonating materials on the plane. Or a drug dealer had made her an unwitting mule, planting coke or some other trouble in her bag while she wasn't looking.

She'd left her carry-on by her feet as she handed her license and boarding pass to a security agent at the beginning of the line.

Answer truthfully, the TSA worker informed her, and everything will be OK.

Solomon, 5-foot-3 and traveling alone, looked up at the man in the black shirt and fought back tears.

Put yourself in her place and count out 20 seconds. Her heart pounded. She started to sweat. She panicked at having to explain something she couldn't.

Now picture her expression as the TSA employee started to smile.

Just kidding, he said. He waved the baggie. It was his.

And so she collected her things, stunned, and the tears began to fall.

Another passenger, a woman traveling to Colorado, consoled her as others who had witnessed the confrontation went about their business. Solomon and the woman walked to their gates, where each called for security and reported what had happened.

A joke? You're not serious. Was he hitting on her? Was he flexing his muscle? Who at a time of heightened security and rattled nerves would play so cavalierly with a passenger's emotions?

Can you believe this? She cried - I would have messed my pants! What in the name of God's green earth would possess this mendacious jerk to single out this poor young woman - hell, to single out ANYONE - for that kind of stress when going through a TSSA checkpoint is stress enough for anyone?

There's more.

When she complained to airport security, Solomon said, she was told the TSA worker had been training the staff to detect contraband. She was shocked that no one took him off the floor, she said.

"It was such a violation," the Wynnewood native told me by phone. "I'd come early. I'd done everything right. And they were kidding about it."

I ran her story past Ann Davis, regional TSA spokeswoman, who said she knew nothing to contradict the young traveler's account.

TSSA (two S's, because you can't spell Schutzstaffel without the second S) wouldn't come out and say what sort of punishment this tool was given for this patent violation of...well, if nothing else, the laws of human decency. But a TSSA spokestool did say that the individual was no longer associated with the agency.

Hey, how 'bout that? [/sarcasm]

And people ask me why I'm so anti-TSSA.....

TSSA in the news

The Transportation Security Administration (TSSA - two S's, because you can't spell Schutzstaffel without the second S) has had themselves quite a time of late. They whiffed - badly - on the Nigerian crotch incinerator terrorist who flew into Detroit. And now this.

A TSA agent was arrested on January 3rd in Terminal One at LAX, a source told NBCLA. He had just gotten off duty and was behaving erratically, saying, "I am god, I’m in charge."

My question is this: is this newsworthy because the TSSA agent was off duty, versus at their station? Because, IMO, that's the attitude they ALL have.

Wait. It gets better.

Meanwhile, a TSA Internal Affairs investigation turned up evidence of LAX TSA agents using drugs at an after-hours party.

I repeat my earlier question: is this newsworthy because the TSSA agents were off duty, versus at their stations? Just asking.

But be of good cheer, because the TSSA employees will soon be unionized, making them just like DMV and postal workers.

God help us.

Terror Attempt

Great! As if air travel in this country weren't enough of a drag, now another Islamic douchebag has to go and try to blow up another plane.

A senior U.S. counterterror official says a passenger aboard a Delta Air Lines flight in Detroit was planning to blow up the plane but the explosive device failed, the Associated Press reported today.

A White House official said the incident was an attempted act of terrorism.

AP said it learned that early indications were the passenger said he was acting on behalf of Al Qaeda.

Okay, so this bozo tried to flame up some sort of improvised explosive device - and failed. But who failed more, the bozo, or the TSSA (two S's required in order to correctly abbreviate Schutzstaffel)?

If you answered TSSA, go to the head of the class. If you're the TSSA, this just won't do. So, naturally, in order to give the impression that they're "doing something", the TSSA is going to go to extreme, even absurd lengths. After all, nobody does absurd like the TSSA.

God help us all.

Wiener of the Week

My favorite tool of Der Staat (and I do mean tool) is at it again.

A lawsuit filed Thursday against the Transportation Security Administration alleges a Ron Paul supporter was unreasonably detained at the St. Louis airport because he was carrying about $4,700 in cash.

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The organization had hosted an event in St. Louis that included the sale of tickets, T-shirts, stickers and other materials and Bierfeldt said he was carrying the cash proceeds in a metal box when he was detained at Lambert Airport for about 30 minutes on March 29.

The lawsuit does not seek money but asks the court to declare the TSA's actions unconstitutional and to prohibit the agency from similar searches when there is no evidence aircraft are endangered.

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Bierfeldt's attorney, Ben Wizner, said the lawsuit does not challenge TSA's authority to search and detain those suspected of taking weapons, explosives or other dangerous objects onto planes.

"That's the whole purpose of airport searches," Wizner said. "These are not, however, open-ended criminal searches."

That last sentence sums it up in full: the TSSA (Two 'S's because you can't spell Schutzstaffel without the 'SS') has NOT been granted the power to conduct open-ended criminal searches, nor to harass US citizens just because they feel like they can.

TSSA - you're the Wiener of the Week.

Vulture Droppings - Spring cleaning

Vulture Droppings is a semi-regular feature of this blog. It's a kind of "Random Thoughts" post in which I try to quickly summarize a particularly large event or series of events. Think of it being sort of like what a vulture leaves behind after devouring a horse. You don't get the whole horse, just highly processed leftovers.

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Over the course of time, as I wade through various news items on TV and on the web, I accumulate a "to do" list of items on which I wish to comment. The only problem with that approach is that new stuff is happening all the time, so only the most pressing (or personally appealing) items actually make it into the blog.

This issue of Vulture Droppings is my attempt at Spring cleaning -- to clear out the "to do" list and start afresh.

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I had an epiphany this week.

Have you ever noticed that Earth Day falls on the day after 4/20 (or 4:20 for you stoners)? NOW Earth Day finally makes sense to me.

Hippy 1 (taking drag on joint): Dude, we should totally, like, do something, like, big.
Hippy 2 (irritated that Hippy 1 is Bogarting the joint): Like, what, man?
Hippy 1 (finally passing the joint): Like, I dunno. Maybe, like, save the Earth or something.
Hippy 2 (talking while trying to hold his breath to keep the smoke in): Dude! Like, totally!
Hippy 1 (irritated that Hippy 2 is Bogarting the joint): Dude! Let's make a special day for, like, demonstrations and action to save the Earth.
Hippy 2 (finally passing the joint): We can call it Earth Day! Let's do it! We could start today.
Hippy 1 (reaching for the Doritos): Nah, let's do it tomorrow...

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Anyone who has read this blog for more than 5 minutes knows that I L-O-V-E the 49ers. But, if this rumor is true, I'm about to be mad as hell.

Following in the path of the Detroit Lions (which is always a good idea), the 49ers are scheduled to unveil some helmet and uniform tweaks this weekend.

Tweaks? According to the rumor, the Niners are going back to the old red-white-red helmet stripe and gray facemask. Gaack! Don't get me wrong, I love the old throwback uniforms. But the bland 1960's style stripes? And the gray facemask - something I ALWAYS disliked because it made a bland helmet look even blander? Please don't be true! Please!

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Schadenfreude, sweet schadenfreude. Congressman Peter DeFazio got to experience his Frankenstein's monster first-hand.

The Capitol Hill newspaper, Roll Call, reported that DeFazio "lost his temper" and denounced the security as "stupid" and complained to screeners that he was a member of Congress who had helped found the Transportation Security Administration. The paper said DeFazio swore and "caused a ruckus that drew extra security officers."

DeFazio told The Oregonian that he did not try to hinder the screening. He was screened at Eugene Airport, flew to Portland and then was pulled out of a passenger line boarding a flight to Washington, D.C.

And the Vulture smiled the kind of smile one associates with a vampire locked in a blood bank.

Wassumatta, DeFazio? You too good to be subjected to what the rest of us routinely experience? Your monster wasn't intended to harass the "important people", just us serfs?

I only wish they'd have done to you what they've done to other passengers who've raised a fuss. A picture of you getting tazed would have been...priceless.

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A new criminal class has emerged in Washington State.

The quest for squeaky-clean dishes has turned some law-abiding people in Spokane into dishwater-detergent smugglers. They are bringing Cascade or Electrasol in from out of state because the eco-friendly varieties required under Washington state law don't work as well. Spokane County became the launch pad last July for the nation's strictest ban on dishwasher detergent made with phosphates, a measure aimed at reducing water pollution. The ban will be expanded statewide in July 2010, the same time similar laws take effect in several other states.

But it's not easy to get sparkling dishes when you go green.

Many people were shocked to find that products like Seventh Generation, Ecover and Trader Joe's left their dishes encrusted with food, smeared with grease and too gross to use without rewashing them by hand. The culprit was hard water, which is mineral-rich and resistant to soap.

As a result, there has been a quiet rush of Spokane-area shoppers heading east on Interstate 90 into Idaho in search of old-school suds.

Smugglers! Contraband! Cascade?!?!?

Two thoughts. First, Washington is experiencing the Law of Unintended Consequences. The quest to "save the Earth", itself a hubris-induced product of the Chris Berman Generation (the 60's Baby Boomers), keeps resulting in more and more regulations that do little to change pollution levels due to the fact that one form of pollution (in this case, phosphates) is replaced by another (the energy cost of re-washing the dirty dishes that didn't get cleaned by the "green" products).

Second, little-by-little Leviathan is making criminals of us all. People who wouldn't DREAM of committing any sort of crime that harms another person or their community are now SMUGGLERS guilty of violating Washington State law.

Criminals. Because they want clean dishes. Priceless.

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Caput Penitus Culus has been oddly silent for the past week. Maybe I wore him out...

I get the impression he's not well-liked outside of the sycophants, law fetishists, and judge-felators who frequent his site. I happened upon a post at The Plural Life where a commenter going by the name duaneh1 posted this:

In the ligher side of the news, Coram has a new friend:
http://thelurkingvulture.blogspot.com/2009/04/wiener-of-week_18.html

“Caput Penitus Culus” (latin for “head in a@@”) is Blueseys new nickname fondly given by Vulture.

He does having a winning personality, that Culus.

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Okay, the "to do" list is officially cleaned up. Whew! A Vulture's work is never done!

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TSSA in the news

I know, it's been a while since I last went on a rant about the TSSA (no misspelling: you can't get the full effect of the American version of the Schutzstaffel without the second 's'). But you have to admit that they've kept a lower profile of late, with stories of TSSA abuses trickling down to practically zero. I'm not naive. I understand that this is mostly a product of last year's election and to the endless stream of news about the cratering economy.

But you just KNEW it couldn't last. Totalitarians never operate in total obscurity.

And now, like a poltergeist, they're baaaaaaaaaaaack.

For the first time, some airline passengers will skip metal detectors and instead be screened by body scanning machines that look through clothing for hidden weapons, the Transportation Security Administration said Tuesday.

An experimental program that begins today at Tulsa International Airport will test whether the $170,000 body scanners could replace $10,000 metal detectors that have screened airline passengers since 1973. Airports in San Francisco, Las Vegas, Miami, Albuquerque and Salt Lake City will join the test in the next two months, TSA spokesman Christopher White said.

The scanners aim to close a loophole by finding non-metallic weapons such as plastic and liquid explosives, which the TSA considers a major threat. The machines raise privacy concerns because their images reveal outlines of private body parts.

The machines raise privacy concerns? Why JUST the machines? Why doesn't the very existence of an agency that can pretty much make you strip naked on command not raise privacy concerns? We're talking about an agency that is exempt from illegal search-and-seizure laws. We're talking about an agency that wipes its collective ass with the 4th amendment. But, in the minds of most Americans, that's okay. It's the thought of someone seeing an outline of your body that's a "privacy concern".

At what point did I cross over into this parallel universe where all of this can happen in broad daylight with nary a peep from the sheeple?

Tales from the TSA

Apparently TSA's abuses have reached the level where "serious" journalists are starting to notice. Kudos to Channel 2 in Chicago for going where 99.9% of local news and 100% of network news refuses to go. In this report, Pam Zekman gets the skinny on a number of abuses, which include:

• A woman slammed to the floor by TSA agents for daring to argue with them


• The infamous "nipple rings" incident


• A 71-year-old man in a wheelchair who is routinely forced to drop his pants so agents can verify that, yes indeed, he has an artificial knee


• A 16-year-old girl with a prosthetic leg who has to drop her pants to let our protectors examine "her whole leg"


• The numerous women who've had the under-bra "grope" administered to them


• The newest: a machine that can "see" through clothing and pretty much leaves nothing to the imagination (see picture below)

Why does TSA feel compelled to take people who are no obvious threat and treat them so disrespectfully? Because they can. And they will...right up until enough people make a serious stink about it.

Once again, major kudos to CBS2 in Chicago for daring to "go there".

Finally, a photo of the new "see through" technology at work. Gives new meaning to the phrase "I'll need to check your bag."

TSA - the 'A' stands for asinine

We've all heard the 'no-fly' watch list horror stories. Babies and toddlers who happen to share the same name as some suspected terrorist. A Senator's wife. A 63-year-old writer, founder of The Giraffe Project. Etc, etc.

But this one, to me, REALLY takes the cake.

The Justice Department's former top criminal prosecutor says the government's terror watch list likely has caused thousands of innocent Americans to be questioned, searched or otherwise hassled. Former Assistant Attorney General Jim Robinson would know: he's one of them.

Yeah, you read right: a former prosecutor for the Justice Department. A guy who holds a Top Secret clearance. And he's not only ON the list, he can't get OFF it.

The TSA clearance process will not remove a name from the Watch Lists. Instead this process distinguishes passengers from persons who are in fact on the Watch Lists by placing their names and identifying information in a cleared portion of the Lists.

In other words, you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

Apparently, according to those on the 'cleared portion of the Lists', it doesn't help. Surely the TSA could issue some sort of 'I'm not him!' identification for people in Mr. Robinson's situation. That would be one way to combat this problem, right?

The other way -- which will NEVER happen -- is to get rid of that stupid list once and for all. Do you REALLY think that the terrorists are so stupid that they would travel using their real name or a known alias? They'll get new aliases and fake papers to avoid being hit by the list. Come on!

No, the purpose of the list, like the purpose of the TSA, is to get us used to being herded around like cattle in a situation where we dare not speak out, in order to get us prepared to be herded in every situation in the future. It's the beta version of Police State USA.

TSA protects us from peanut butter

Recently, Mrs. Vulture flew down to the Carolinas to visit her sister and family there. On her return flight she was seated next to an older gentleman (yes, older than ME!) with whom she had a conversation during the course of the flight.

Somehow the subject of TSA came up. He told Mrs. V that he is a diabetic and, as such, always carries with him a small amount of peanut butter to help regulate his blood sugar. On his previous flight the TSA Schutzstaffel confiscated his peanut butter because, even though there was just a small amount left in the container, the container itself would hold more than 3 oz if full. The gentleman explained to the Nazi what the peanut butter was for. But, being a good little government automaton, he refused to return it. The peanut butter wasn't a danger to anyone, and could actually save this gentleman's life, but "rules are rules".

Except that the gentleman was told later by a more HUMAN member of the Schutzstaffel that exceptions can be made for items, like the peanut butter, that are needed for health reasons.

An older gentleman could have gone into a diabetic coma mid-flight with no one able to understand what was happening to him (or how to help him) all because some fascist wanted to be a big shot and refuse a legally permissible exception to an older man who was clearly not a threat to anyone.

Bastards.

I can't even BEGIN to tell you how much I hate the TSA! But I'll keep trying, as more and more of these kinds of stories crop up...and they WILL crop up, because the TSA goon squad just can't help themselves. They HAVE to be tools. It's in their DNA.