Someday my head is going to explode...REALLY!

Almost exactly a year ago -- on February 13th of last year -- I vented about how sick and tired I am of receiving Internet hoax emails from well-meaning people. So what's in my inbox this morning? You guessed it.

RE: Removal of Joel Osteen, Joyce Meyer, Charles Stanley, David Jeremiah and other pastors from the airwaves. This includes "The Spoken Word" with the Tabernacle Choir. An organization has been granted a Federal Hearing on the same subject by the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) in Washington , D.C. Their petition, Number 2493, would ultimately pave the way to stop the reading of the gospel of our Lord and Savior, on the airwaves of America. They got 287,000 signatures to back their stand!

Sure, the general theme is a little bit different from the one I got last year. But the "Petition Number 2493" is right there, same as last year.

I could feel a steady build up of angry juices of the type that cause men's heads to explode. So I wrote the following in reply. I haven't sent it yet...I was hoping for a little feedback first from the general community before I flame the poor SOB who had the misfortune of sending it to me.

I love the Internet -- I really do! But when I receive the same MF'ing emails OVER AND OVER AND OVER -- emails about which I've already sent out blanket blasts of "No, this is a fraud, see Snopes for details" -- I just get so frickin' SALTY!

http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/fcc.asp

Madeline Murray O'Hair has been DEAD FOR 14 YEARS. The atheists don't give a rat's ass about the stoopid religious broadcasts. Nobody -- let alone 287,000 people! -- cares enough about them to even listen to them, let alone sign a petition against them! They all pretty much universally suck. This is especially true for the programs of frauds "Doctor" James Dobson and Joel Osteen. And I'm saying this as a Christian!

Please, for the love of God, STOP SENDING ALARMIST EMAILS UNTIL YOU'VE BOTHERED TO CHECK ON WHETHER THEY'RE LEGITIMATE OR NOT!!!!!!!

GRRRRRRR!

So....am I being too harsh? Or is this just about right? Inquiring minds want to know.

Vulture Droppings - Election Day

Vulture droppings is a semi-regular feature of this blog. It's a kind of "Random Thoughts" post in which I try to quickly summarize a particularly large event or series of events. Think of it being sort of like what a vulture leaves behind after devouring a horse. You don't get the whole horse, just highly processed leftovers.

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It's finally here. Thank God! I couldn't take much more of this election BS. I've already voted today, tallying my vote for Ron Paul, thank you. If you haven't voted yet, please consider reading from these past links before you do.

• On voting
• Ron Paul, Superstar
• Black Democratic voters = Conservative Republican voters

Okay, now on to the last minute election-related tidbits that will be stale and unusable tomorrow.

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First, there is a myth that I wish to squash, posthaste. That myth is that it is important for everyone to vote. I wish to register my contrarian answer to that myth.

Everyone should NOT vote. Why not? Because "everyone" includes people who aren't paying attention! Because "everyone" includes people who think it's important to vote for the candidate who promises the most "stuff" for them. Because "everyone" includes people who know more about Madonna than they do about Barack Obama. And because "everyone" includes people sucking on the government teat, draining our national vitality and sapping the resources of the middle class. If you don't know who the candidates are, don't vote. Please. If you don't know how the candidates stand on issues that are important to you (or you don't even have a clue what the issues are), don't vote. And if you're voting for a candidate based on the color of his skin or the "stuff" they've promised to give you, please FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T VOTE!!!!!!

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There's an email going around that purports to prove that BHO is the Antichrist. One of the "proofs" of this assertion is this.

According to The Book of Revelation:

The Anti-Christ will be a man, in his 40s, of MUSLIM descent, who will deceive the nations with persuasive language, and have a MASSIVE Christ-like appeal....the prophecy says that people will flock to him and he will promise false hope and world peace, and when he is in power, he will destroy everything.

There's just one problem with that. IT ISN'T TRUE!!!

The Book of Revelation doesn't say jack about the age or ethnicity of the Antichrist (though some have come to the conclusion that he would be Roman or Italian). As a point of fact, Islam wasn't established until about 600 AD, so John the Revelator wouldn't really have a term for a Muslim nor any kind of context of who they are, now would he?

If you're going to malign a candidate, at least get your facts straight!

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One final item. This is the text of an email from Pastor Richard Fredericks I received just today. It's wise council for all of us, regardless of how the election turns out.

Dear Family and Friends,

Tomorrow the election is over and the country has decided. May I make a few post-election observations, not about the candidates (who cares what I think), but about our processing of politics as Christians.

For the record, I really admire both McCain and Obama. To last through the gauntlet of a presidential campaign takes an exceptional person, and the strength under fire and tenacity of both candidates deeply impressed me.

John McCain is not only a true war-hero, he is a stamina super-hero. When most 72-year olds with a 401K only dream of their well-earned retirement, Senator McCain is energetic and proved he could shoulder the weight of the presidency. He ran a campaign schedule that would kill most young men—including clear, rousing speeches in SEVEN states on the final day: try that sometime. He is a model of making your whole life count for the things you care about.

Barack Obama brought an eloquence of communication to this race unseen since John Kennedy, and his position papers on race and religion (the two hot buttons of his candidacy) are, in my opinion, must reads for their thoughtfulness—especially if he emerges as the winner.

Finally, the fact that we had: the oldest presidential candidate ever, the first black (bi-racial) candidate ever and that two strong women (Senator Clinton and Governor Palin) played central roles in this election definitely marks a new era of maturity and openness in American politics.

Now three observations about us:

Once we decide for a candidate and against the other, based on their positions (a good thing) there is a tendency to impugn the motives and character of the candidate we did not chose. Fiery zeal and words like idiot, crazy and dangerous get applied to both. I would be willing to wager a year’s salary that if you spent a long weekend with either candidate (and with an open heart) you would leave with great respect—perhaps not for their positions—but for their character and sincerity.

Second, my prayer for the American church is that we always respect the political process but stop believing anything other than the church sharing Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord can transform America. Political leadership matters, especially in a crisis (as Lincoln and Roosevelt demonstrated). But throughout history, whenever Christians believe their political party will usher in God’s righteousness—without exception—things have gotten corrupt at best and deadly at worse. Our hope is God’s grace alone, shared by Christians who believe Jesus alone is the answer, not legislation. I think perhaps Christians bent on political salvation may be the new legalism.

Third, God’s Word calls us to be “completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2. There is no clause that says ‘except for politics.’ Christians should be marked by passion for beliefs coupled with an equal dose of civility because of genuine humility about our own sinfulness and lack of infinite perspective on what God is up to. NOW—let’s pray for our new president—whoever he is. Love Ya, R

Amen, Richard. Amen.

numberunoasshat

JF weighs in via the comments widget:

obviously I am your number one asshat...since I am the frequent sender of unchecked garbage such as the o'hare-touched by an angel debacle. I shall diligently try to be more vigilant in my forwards to the vulture. still love and admire you...(gawd that sounds so gay)

Back off people, he's my father...he's allowed to sound gay.

Sorry, dad -- I thought I gave you an out with the "he probably sent it as a lark" caveat. You didn't need to "out" yourself. Besides, I'm a little more patient with Internet users over 70 than I am with dumbass people my own age or younger who send that crap. You can plead "technology challenged". They can't.

Internet Hoaxes (and the Vulture that loathes them)

Like most Americans, I receive a LOT of email every day. Some of it is mail from friends and family. Some of it is "subscription" email: updates from news sites, notifications of new column availability from one of the columnists I follow closely, etc. Some of it is "necessary evil" email: newsletters you receive because you signed up for some software or registered some product. Some of it is spam -- Satan's own way of tormenting us. No, I do NOT want to try your product for "male enhancement", thank you.

And then there's the stuff that absolutely drives me nuts. Glurge is one of those things. No I will NOT send this POS to 12 of my closest friends so that they can be as annoyed with me as I am with the asshat who sent me the crap in the first place.

But top of my list is Internet Hoaxes. You know what I'm talking about - "the government is going to tax every email", "such-and-such drug contains poison", "'in God we trust' has been removed removed from the dollar coin", etc, etc, etc, ad nauseum.

So you can correctly surmise that I was none too pleased when I got this ancient nugget in my inbox yesterday.

DR. DOBSON'S PLEA FOR ACTION

CBS discontinued 'Touched by an Angel' for using the word God in every program. Madeline Murray O'Hare, an atheist, successfully managed to eliminate the use of Bible reading from public schools a few years ago. Now her organization has been granted a federal hearing on the same subject by the Federal Communications Commission (FCC). Their petition, Number 2493, would ultimately pave the way to stop the reading of the gospel, our Lord and Savior, on the airwaves of America .
...

Please press 'forward', and forward this to everyone that you think should read this. Now, please sign your name at the bottom (you can only add your name after you have pressed the 'Forward').
...

My head exploded. This little "nugget" has been around F-O-R-E-V-E-R (the original version first appeared in 1996). And the copy I received had 2,118 signatures. 2,118 asshats who fell for the BS! I "replied all", with the following:

This may be the second longest-lived Internet hoax of all time, trailing only "Bill Gates will give you cash to forward this email to all your friends".

Here are the clues: Touched by an Angel was canceled years ago (2003), and Madalyn Murray O'Hare has been DEAD for even longer (1995).

See http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/fcc.asp

Okay, a little terse, perhaps. But Judas Johnson Methusalah! It takes less than 5 minutes to fact check this s****! And Snopes ALWAYS has the real dirt - at least check Snopes before sending me that crap!

This morning, I got an email from the sender (whose identity I'll protect; he didn't sign the thing and I'm sure he sent it more-or-less on a lark), saying, in his inimitable tongue-in-cheek way, "What a killjoy! All those people hoping to bolster Chritianity and you shower them with cold water.....shame."

Yeah, I'm a real bastard.

But, here's the thing. I wonder, when I see stuff like that, if people even READ that crap before they forward it, or if they bother to run it through their BS detectors -- or if they even HAVE BS detectors. Maybe because mine is S-O-O-O-O sharpened by following politics the way I do, I have expectations for the general populous that just don't jibe with reality. Or maybe we, as a general population, have become such sheeple that the merest hint of authority (the reference to Dr. James Dobson) is enough for the credulous to fall in line.

And they wonder why McCommie is able to sell himself as a conservative and "666" is able to sell herself as a moderate...