Wiener of the Decade

I've been awarding a Wiener of the Week since November of 2007. I've been awarding a Wiener of the Month nearly as long. I've awarded a Wiener of the Year three times as well. Now, in the year 2010, with the end of the nameless decade I'll call 'The Aughts', I'm presented with a rare opportunity for a new, first-time award: the Wiener of the Decade.

So many things happened during the course of The Aughts that negatively impacted our lives.

9-11 was an attack on America; what our President and Congress did in its aftermath -the Patriot Act, the creation of the Department of Homeland Security (DHSS) and the Transportation Security Administration (TSSA) [two S's required in each name, because you can't spell Schutzstaffel without the double S] - was an attack on Americans and American freedoms. That last sentence is sure to inflame True-Believer Republicans who are convinced that the aforementioned affronts were an important concession necessary for a nation at war with radical Islam. I dispute the benefit. The detrimental aspects of those actions, however, are beyond dispute. The worst part is that we've yet to see the Patriot Act exercised to its fullest by a mendacious, cruel ruler of the type that Il Duce has the potential to become.

The fraud that is AGW began to gather a head of steam in The Aughts. Al Gorebells, the chief propagandist for Big Warming, actually won a Nobel Peace Prize for his fraudulent over-the-top propaganda movie, An Inconvenient Truth. It was the single most outrageous example of the politicization of the Nobel Prize until 2009, when Il Duce was awarded his Nobel for.....uh....well, no one has figured that one out yet.

Two wars raged throughout the decade, in Afghanistan and Iraq. While American popular support for the war in Afghanistan was justifiably high, that support fell off in a hurry when the Iraq conflict because a quagmire where our men and women in uniform were left in an untenable situation.

Pop culture became more and more debased. The "reality show" became a staple of network television. Janet Jackson flashed a nipple. Bono dropped an F-bomb. The government responded to those two events in the only way government knows how: by further restricting freedoms.

Technology, particularly the exponential growth of the Internet, has made it possible for more and more voices to weigh in and, to a small degree, has broken the grip of Big Media (the BM for short) regarding "truth". The Dan Rather forged documents scandal was an example of bloggers - simple citizen reporters and opinion writers - fighting the BM and bringing out the truth. Rather was forced out by CBS as a result. Good riddance to bad rubbish!

Okay, enough with the history lesson. Let's review the also-rans first.

• Al Gorebells. Very few people had as much impact on the world in the past decade than Mr. Gore. His bald-faced propaganda, coupled with complicit "science" and an even more complicit media, have led to treaties and legislation designed to create global governance and to tax away the wealth of the West. Mr. Gore is a hypocritical enemy of freedom and a scumbag. Wiener-worthy, to be sure. But, alas, he's just an also-ran.
  


• Alan Greenspan. Mr. Fed fed the dot-com boom-and-bust, then turned around and drove interest rates lower and lower, creating first a credit boom, then a housing boom, both of which went bust. The current economic woes we are experiencing would have occurred sooner and would have been less severe had Mr. Greenspan just done...wait for it....NOTHING! Wiener-caliber? No doubt!
  


• Big Media. The BM called King George the Dim everything but a Child of God during the course of his presidency, then has the audacity to grumble about the "incivility" of politics now that their guy, Il Duce, is running things. And make no mistake, he is THEIR GUY; the love affair between Il Duce and the BM during the 2008 election was absolutely appalling. What occurred in that election cycle was nothing short of journalistic fellatio. Were they capable of shame, I would say that they should be ashamed. I wish I could give them the Wiener, but, alas, they too are also-rans.
  


• John McCommie. Not since Bob Dole has there been a Presidential candidate less appealing or more curmudgeonly. Not even the addition of Sarah Palin to the ticket could make a silk purse out of this sow's ear. And let's not forget First Amendment-shredding McCain-Feingold! Definitely a Wiener; just not the winner.
  


• Team Elephant. A dispassionate observer might well conclude that the Republicans threw the 2008 election by pumping a 70-something, nasty, borderline Socialist candidate as the "conservative" alternative to Il Duce. In my opinion the Republican party has spent the last 20 years trying to pay penance for Ronald Reagan. True Wieners, this crowd.
  


• Congress. What a collection of elitist, out-of-touch, officious douchebags. These collectivist bastards wipe their collective fat asses with the Constitution daily. Their contempt for ordinary Americans is breathtaking, particularly Nancy "Air Force 3" Pelosi. Bastile Day would be too good for those scumbags. Definitely Wieners. Definitely.
  


• The Supreme Court. Talk about judicial malpractice! These clowns actually ruled that McCain-Feingold was Constitutional! Are you effing kidding me?!?!?! WHAT is more indicative of the founders' insistence on free speech than POLITICAL SPEECH?!?!? Yet these fossilized crypt-keepers turned their backs on the Constitution and upheld that completely absurd and freedom-limiting POS. Wieners for sure!

That's quite a collection. I grudgingly omitted additional candidates such as "Judge" Barbara Walther and Prosecutor Mike Nifong since they were previously named Wiener of the Year. Their Wiener-worthiness is indisputable.

The Wiener of the Decade is the man who stood largest, for better or worse, throughout the decade. Indeed, one cannot think of The Aughts without thinking of the biggest ZERO of a decade of zeroes: George W. Bush, AKA King George the Dim.

If you look at the events of The Aughts, GWB's fingerprints are all over everything. While he was borderline brilliant in the aftermath of 9-11, pretty much everything he did thereafter was cover-your-eyes awful.

He was the force behind the Patriot Act and the creation of the DHSS and TSSA. He and his Neocon cronies pushed and pushed to get us a war with Iraq, and disingenuously made Iraq an extension of the war on terror.

He pushed for yet another government-provided "entitlement" with the Medicare prescription drug benefit. I said at the time that the Medicare legislation was the camel's nose in the tent, that King George had set the table for Hillary Health. Little did I know how right I was.

He pushed for the gigantic 2008 bailout of the financial sector ("They're too big to fail!!!"). He tried to appoint Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court. That woman isn't qualified to be a CLERK of the Supreme Court!

But the worst thing he did was to make Il Duce possible. It has been said for decades that it took Jimmy Carter for us to get Ronald Reagan. Conversely, it took 8 years of King George the Dim to give us Il Duce. Of all of the unforgivable things King George did, THAT is the most unforgivable.

Congratulations, GWB - you're the Wiener of the Decade.