Law (?) and Order (?!?!?!?) - Caput Penitus Culus Edition

I have to admit that when it comes to the legal system I'm a fish out of water.  The terminology.  The prosaic phraseology.  The BS preambles with their legal buzzwords ("hereinafter referred to as The Plaintiff", "party of the first part", etc.).  The BS Latin and Latinate words and phrases ("pro se", "ad litem", "dominum dictum", "ex nihilo", etc.).  Truth is, it's a foreign world to me.

But there are certain legal concepts I understand completely.  'Hot check' is one of them.  And 'hot check' is the latest development in the sorry case of Mall Cop a Palos v. Bloggers.

When all the legal challenges to bloggers over one being classified as a “Rent-A-Cop” came out, the first place checked was the court records.

Still there today, as you can see in the image below, were the records indicating that an employee of the University of North Texas, a Gregory J. PRICKett, had evidently obtained the services of Natalie Malonis to file and PAY the fees necessary to get the process started.

Go on.

Now that you’ve seen the financial records which started the ball rolling, along with a couple more payments made by Gregory J. PRICKett to keep it headed just where he hopes it will help him the most, let’s move on to the latest under the “Events & Orders of the Court” in those records from the District Civil Court in Texass.

Ooh! Tell me more!

10/27/2010 HOT CHECK

Natalie Malonis, Attorney At Law – Refer to Acct Dept x7260

Oh how the mighty have fallen!  Attorney Natalie Malonis, once a featured "expert" on the Nancy Grace Show, has now been reduced to passing bad checks on behalf of her partner in calumny, Sgt. Gregory Prickett, pictured at top, hereinafter referred to as The Prickette, a known hostis humani generis (you like that, pretend lawyer asshole?).

I don't need to remind you of the enmity I (and frankly, all people possessed of human decency) have toward the foul pretend lawyer behind Coram Non Judice, ah, excuse me, Caput Penitus Culus.  That he and his particeps criminis, Ms. Malonis, have been exposed and put in a position where they are on the defensive is extraordinarily gratifying.  That Ms. Malonis is reduced to passing bad checks in the shadow of accusations that she "misappropriated" child support payments intended for a client is absolutely....priceless.

By their fruits ye shall know them.  I smell rotten apples.  And Noxzema.  And mall cop.

The 'Liberal Gene'

So much of what passes for 'science' these days is total crap.  Total.  Crap.  This study is no different.

Researchers have determined that genetics could matter when it comes to some adults' political leanings.

According to scientists at UC San Diego and Harvard University, "ideology is affected not just by social factors, but also by a dopamine receptor gene called DRD4." That and how many friends you had during high school.

"That and how many friends you had during high school." This is what passes for science in 21st century America.

While I focused in on the quack science of the study, the commenters had a field day with the idea of a "liberal gene". Here is a sampling of the comments.

So, we now have scientific proof that liberalism is a birth defect?

I knew it! I knew they were born F'd up!

That explains their total lack of logical thinking, they can't help themselves. Probably explains why they're so needy too.

And my favorite:

Does this discovery bring us closer to a cure?

Weekend update: "We want Carr!" "We want Carr!" "We....oops."

Memo to all of those alleged 49ers fans chanting "We want Carr!" during rough stretches of the past two games prior to this weekend: Be careful what you wish for.

Sunday the 49ers lost to the woeful Carolina Panthers 23-20.  And David MF'ing Carr was a big reason why.

Carr was 5-13 for 67 yards (Wait...did he actually complete FIVE passes?  Funny, I don't remember that).  He also threw a back-breaking interception to set up Carolina's winning field goal.  He missed receivers high.  He missed receivers low.  He completely sucked.

What was Carr even doing in the game?  He was in there because Alex Smith got hurt when rookie tackle Anthony Davis executed a perfect "Ole!" non-block on the Carolina DE, who immediately lit up Smith and landed on him hard, injuring his left shoulder.

The 49er Faithful fair weather fans fell for the oldest fantasy in the book.  They believed that everything was the starting QB's fault, and all would be right with the world if only the backup QB were inserted in his place.

Well, all is definitely NOT right with the world. 

I'm not blaming Carr, understand.  There's more than enough blame to go around, all around.

It's time to clean house on this poorly coached, underachieving team.

Who needs to go?  Head Coach Mike Singletary.  Defensive Coordinator Greg Manusky.  Alleged Cornerback Nate Clemons.

Why Clemons?  Because, even though he had a sack and made a couple of slick plays, he is ALWAYS out of position and ALWAYS gambling for the pick (and getting burned as a result).  He sucks.  Clemons has to go.

Why Manusky?  The defense keeps making the same mistakes, over and over.  The color commentator noted that every team in the league is coaching its backs to bounce running plays to the outside against the 49ers when the middle is clogged, because there'll be no outside contain.  He's absolutely right.  And it's been that way all season.  The one thing a 3-4 defense should ALWAYS do well is outside contain.  But the 49ers outside linebackers are never at home.  Never.  That's the blame of coaching.  Manusky has to go.

Why Singletary?  This one breaks my heart, because I absolutely LOVE Mike Singletary.  I love everything about him.  That is, everything about him except his attention to detail and his complete inability to either manage the clock or make in-game adjustments.  Sorry, Coach.  I love ya.  But Singletary has to go.

Who stays, and why?  Offensive Coordinator Mike Johnson, Quarterback Alex Smith, RB Frank Gore, and Linebacker Patrick Willis.  The last two are obvious: Willis is all-world in a confused and poorly coached defense.  Gore is all-world in an offense that has trouble getting out of its own way.

So how do Alex Smith and Mike Johnson make this list? 

For the first time since Norv Turner in 2006, Smith has an Offensive Coordinator who's worth a shit.  And that's why Mike Johnson stays.  He has taken what was a predictable and uninspired offense and turned it on its ear.  The color commentator from Sunday's game marveled at how the 49ers would come out in an "obvious" passing formation and run, in an "obvious" running formation and pass.  The offense has been extremely effective in spurts, and Johnson is the reason why.  Considering he has had 4 weeks to make-over Jimmy Raye's gawdawful excuse for an offense, what he has done is spectacular and deserves being rewarded.

Alex Smith's turnovers are down the past few weeks because he's not being put in bad spots where turnovers are practically inevitable.  And he's shown so many flashes of brilliance this season that he's just GOT to get one more chance.

This season is over.  It really sucks to be in 2004-mode when I started the season in 2002-mode (the last time the 49ers won their division). 

Thank God hockey season has started.  Go Caps!

Hype and vaporware - welcome to The Cloud

If you watch NFL football on Sunday - and you know I do - then you've seen the BS Microsoft ad where the condescending shrew/wife/mom creates a wonderful family photograph by invoking the power of "The Cloud".  I can't watch this commercial without my head exploding.

I am an applications programmer who for the past decade and change have been working in environments that are just "one-off" from the bleeding edge of technology.  I am usually aware of what's coming a good 6 months before it hits the "real" marketplace, as it's been bandied about in tech journals, various conferences, etc.  Some of the hyped products make the grade, some don't.

I've been hearing about "The Cloud" for over 2 years now.  I'm sick of it.  It's what we in the industry call "vaporware".  Vaporware is just what it sounds like -- over-hyped, wonderful-sounding futuristic does-it-all software that doesn't really exist.  I think you get the concept.

I did a quick Google search on "Cloud real or hype".  All of the returned links referred to how "The Cloud" was on the verge of moving beyond hype, how it was over-hyped, etc.  Here's a sampling.

Cloud computing moving behind hype to real-world use
Keeping it real: Cloud hype in the IT Industry
Toning down the hype and getting real
The promise is real, but the hype is extreme

I think you get the idea.  It's a big steaming pile of hype, with a smidgen of bombast lumped in for good measure.

Memo to Micros**t: knock it off!  No more commercials hyping "The Cloud" until there is one...and, no, the one on the flow diagram marked "a miracle happens here" is NOT the "cloud" I'm talking about.

Great idea enforced via coercion

Coercion.  It's the statist way.

First, let me back up and set the table for the topic of this post.  Anyone who has lived in California for an extended period of time -- like, say, the 20 years I lived there off and on from 1967-1987 -- knows that when it comes to rainfall, there are only two seasonal variations: drought, and OMG flooding.

Unfortunately, it seems that drought happens way to often, resulting in water rationing.

I've long thought that the way toilets are designed is inherently flawed.  One flush fits all.  But why does it have to be that way?  Couldn't you have a lesser flush for No. 1, and a greater flush for No. 2?  Wouldn't that make more sense?  Wouldn't that be a great way to conserve water in those drought years?

It turns out that some inventive type has come up with a commode that meets that exact criteria.  But in New York City, letting the market introduce this wonderful innovation into common use just won't do.  No, NYC is going to use government's favorite (only?) tool and force its use.

Under a law passed by the City Council today, new toilets will have to be high water efficient or "dual-flush," which allow users to choose between a high pressure flush for solid waste, and a low-pressure flush for liquid.

The law, which significantly changes the city plumbing code starting July 2012, applies the same strict water efficiency standards to plumbing fixtures like showerheads, urinals and sink faucets.

The package of water conservation bills also requires water fountains have separate spouts for drinking and for filling water containers; commercial buildings install alarms and sub-meters to detect water leaks; and limits the use of "once-through" cooling systems, such as those used to cool ice-making machines, walk-in coolers and older medical x-ray and laser equipment.

OMG. Is there anything else you want to throw in there? Like, how many gallons of urine an individual is allowed to produce per week?

Council member James Oddo sums up what should be every freedom loving American's reaction to this government overreach.

When does it stop? Does it stop when we micromanage every minute facet of our lives?

Great question.  When DOES it stop? At what point do the sheeple wake from their torpor and ask that question?

God only knows.

Finally off the schneid

It wasn't pretty.  No, the fact is it was just about as ugly as a win can be.  It took 6 weeks, but the 49ers are finally off the schneid.  Final score: 17-9.

That it was the woeful Raiders, at home, and we trailed for the first 44 minutes and change of the game is an indicator of just how ugly it was.

This was, however, the first game in which the 49ers had zero turnovers this year.  Yes, you read that right.

Alex Smith threw for two touchdowns in the second half after a woeful 2 of 11 start.  Frank Gore got back on track, rushing for 149 years, including a spectacular 64 yard run to set up the second touchdown.  Even Michael Crabtree contributed, making an easy catch look difficult in snagging Alex Smith's pass for the first 49ers touchdown.  Jerry Rice would have made that catch in his sleep and made it look easy as can be.  But Terrell Owens would have dropped it, so at least Crabtree has the fact he caught it to fall back on. 

The one negative of the game (besides Alex Smith playing like ass for the first 25 minutes of the game) was the officiating.  More on that follows.

I look at the remainder of the 49ers schedule and can't help but think: there's no one on tap who scares me.  San Diego?  Child please!  They lost to the Raiders and the Rams in back-to-back weeks.  Speaking of the Rams, we have them twice, plus our bitch, the Cardinals, twice.  (Bill Bidwell owns the Cardinals 363 days per year.  The 49ers own them the other two). 

We have the Seahawks again...but they're quite a bit less threatening away from their Stadium of Doom.  There's Denver in London.  But beyond that?  Nobody scary. 

Jed York could be right...we might just win the division after all.  I might just have to start drinking that Kool Aid again after all...

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Officiating has been quite consistent this year...consistently dreadful. It's not just the 49ers getting jobbed. I sat and watched the Saints commit holding on at least a dozen plays against the Buccaneers on Sunday with nary a flag in sight. I saw a Saints tackler dive into the knees of a receiver, injuring the guy. No flag for unnecessary roughness. It's atrocious.

In the past two games, 49ers opponents have not been called for holding. Not once. Never mind that I've seen defensive lineman change directions, in ways not humanly possible without being held, at least a dozen times. Not one flag.

Okay, I can see the Eagles, a team with a reputation for playing clean, getting some slack from the zebras. But the Raiders? The effing RAIDERS?!?!?!?!? The most penalized team in the history of pro football? Child, please!

I haven't figured out why this is happening. Is it the new positioning of the Umpire in the offensive backfield instead of behind the linebackers? Maybe the Umpire -- usually the official who watches for and calls holding -- just can't see what's going on in there from that position.

Or maybe the referees just suck this year. Yeah, I think that's the answer.

How else can you explain the intentional grounding penalty called the play prior to the 49ers first touchdown?  The rule, as I understand it, is that it's grounding if the quarterback throws the ball away in an effort to avoid a sack and there is no eligible receiver in the vicinity of where the ball was thrown.  So how does Alex Smith get called for grounding when (a) there was no threat of a sack, and (b) there WAS a receiver in the vicinity?  Granted, he would have had to be 13 feet tall to have caught it, but he WAS in the vicinity! 

I may have set a world's record for dropping F bombs in the aftermath of that play.  I'm still salty about it two days later.  Talk about incompetence!

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I can't believe the way this season has played out. Teams that were supposed to be awesome (49ers, Chargers) suck. Teams that were supposed to be dreadful (Bucs, Chiefs) are in the mix. The more I watch NFL football, the more I realize that I haven't a clue.

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